Month: September 2024

3 mental health books that saved my life

Maybe it’s a bit dramatic to say these books saved my life, but they kinda did. They gave me invaluable tools to cope with my complex PTSD while I’ve been unable to get back into therapy. I still believe that everyone can benefit from therapy, but unfortunately not everyone has access to it. If that’s the case for you, I hope these books will help.

Taming Your Outer Child / Susan Anderson

This book started it all for me. Anderson’s methods might seem a bit silly at first, but once I got past that, I learned how to separate my various selves, communicate better with myself from my highest self, and unpack my self-sabotaging behaviors. Once I finished the book, I no longer felt any need to write letters to my Inner or Outer Child, but now I occasionally write letters to and from my adult self. The self-communication skills that you’ll gain from this are so worth it; a lot of us trauma survivors have no idea what our wants, needs, or drivers are, and this book cleverly shows you how to figure that out.

Check it Out
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents / Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD

In my parents’ defense, they were literal teenagers when they had me. So I mean absolutely no disrespect. I love my parents and I know they love me and did their best, and yet I had a lot to unpack in adulthood, a lot of behaviors I picked up as a way to cope with not only my childhood but also multiple traumas that occurred. This book helped me see things from a whole new perspective, and gave me tools I desperately needed to shape the adult I wanted to become. I’ve been operating from a place of trauma-based fear, and this book helped me both see the areas in which I’m emotionally immature and how to reparent myself. It’s less about blaming your dysfunctional parents/family for all your problems, and more about stepping into yourself and healing.

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How to Do the Work / Dr. Nicole LePera

How to Do the Work felt like the natural next step. I actually had it quite a while before I even started “Emotionally Immature.” They say that books come to you when you need them most, and I’ve found that to be so true. Maybe it was the universe guiding me, or maybe deep down I just knew I needed to ease into all this shadow work. It sure isn’t easy, facing yourself! Dr. LePera AKA The Holistic Psychologist on Instagram gently guides you through the process, while sharing her personal story as well as her clients’ stories. This book helped me build upon the things I learned from the other two, plus gave me some new insights.

Check it Out

I don’t think you necessarily have to read and work through all three of these books or in this exact order; you can start with whichever speaks to you most and go from there.

I hope these books help you! Please let me know if you try them. And if you have any mental health books you found helpful, please share them!

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash

I survived five years without the most important person in my life

Today makes five years since my Noni died. My grandmother was the absolute love of my life, my best friend, and I was devastated when we lost her in 2019. So much so, sometimes I wonder if it triggered my major lupus flare that began just a few months later. Her death was a major blow to my family and at the time, I had no idea how any of us would go on without her.

Noni was a constant presence in my life and my biggest support. We were both on chemo at the same time for different reasons, and compared notes on side effects and how at least we didn’t have to shave our legs. Of all my friends and family, she was the only one who understood how devastating it is to be chronically ill. She got my dark humor and I never had to sugarcoat things for her.

But before that, she was like a second mother to me. My parents had me just as they both turned 18. They were babies themselves, but loved me (and later my sister) enough to ask for help. (Not easy for teenagers to do!) The three of us lived with my grandparents and, when I was just a few weeks old, I went to the lake with Noni and Popi for the first time. We were inseparable in the years that followed. When I started my publishing career, she was my biggest fan and most constant reader.

Losing her blew me apart in ways I’m still putting together. I grew up without a lot of money but with a lot of love, and much of that is because of Noni. For the first few years without her, I kind of just fumbled through, suddenly doused in darkness. It didn’t help that a major lupus flare started, followed by the pandemic. Life seemed to pull no punches, and time after time I found myself in situations where I wished Noni was here. She always listened to me, never telling me what to do, letting me find my own way with her unwavering support. Her love felt incredible—everyone who knew her knows what it was like, the kind of love that carries you through decades long after she’s gone. I have been loved, and I have been loved well.

Realizing that was how I survived.

Now I sing to my niece the way Noni sang with me when I was little. I cook food and pack away extra for people like she did. I smile at strangers because the love that I hold in me from her is too big not to share. I’m building a beautiful little life that I’m proud of the same way my grandparents did.

Doing these things is how I’ll survive the next five.

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash