Runaway Bree stumbles into the River Reapers’ strip club to warm up, but biker Mercy knows she’s much younger than she looks. Before he can drive her back to whatever sent her running, a fight breaks out between the club’s president and VP.
“American Woman” played as a woman spun onstage. I moved closer, a moth drawn to fire.
“You can’t be in here.” A tall man wearing a beat up leather jacket covered in patches blocked my path. “You’re like twelve.”
“Eighteen,” I lied. “I need a job.”
catch up
Part I: The Drifter
Chapter 2
1997
I couldn’t stomach the thought of telling anyone, so I ran.
I didn’t go far. I was only fourteen, after all. I had no money, aside from the babysitting cash I blew on the bus hop out of Wolcott. I had no job experience, aside from babysitting a few kids on my street. And I had no high school diploma—a recent development.
I stood on the long strip of roads that made up Route 63 in Naugatuck, the bus pulling away from the curb and leaving me in a cloud of dust. I was officially out of cash—and adrenaline.
Glancing up and down the street, I looked for a sign, anything to tell me what to do next. I could go home. All I had to do was find a payphone and call my parents. Then I’d have to tell them why I’d run.
Nausea scraped against my stomach, clawing up my throat. I wrapped my arms around myself, pushing back against it and the memories. I couldn’t tell them. No one would even believe me.
I started walking.
As I walked, I rubbed my hands up and down my arms. I hadn’t even grabbed a coat on my way out, and it was freakin’ January. Not like I’d really had time to think things through. I stumbled into a parking lot, not even bothering to see what it was for. I just wanted to get inside and get warm. As I hurried toward the door, the backpack I wore slung on one shoulder brushed one of the motorcycles lined up out front.
“Hold it!” a gruff voice called out.
I froze in my tracks.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, stepping in front of me. He all but blocked out the sun—if the sun had been shining. The sky was a cold milk white.
I tipped my head back to look at him. The breeze ruffled the dark hair that just about covered his ears.
“You can’t go in there,” he continued, but all I saw were his lips. Thick, round lips that hugged every word he spoke. A constellation of stubble framed them, all that black facial hair only highlighting the pink plumpness of those lips. Shadows hung under his hypnotic brown eyes, more hair hanging in front of them.
I blinked, shaking myself out of my daze. A gust of wind whipped my hair into my face. I grabbed the dark strands, tucking them back into my shirt. “Why not?” I said between shivers. I glanced at the door again. It was so close.
“Because that,” he said, jerking a thumb toward the building, “is a strip club. And you are like twelve.”
I scoffed. “Eighteen.”
“Same freakin’ difference.” He crossed his arms. “Shouldn’t you be in school?”
Flicking my eyes from his face to the motorcycle, I crossed my arms, too. “Shouldn’t you be in jail?”
“Probably.” He laughed, and the sound flooded me with warmth—a heat so real, my fingers tingled.
“Move out of my way.” I hopped from foot to foot.
Ordinarily I’d never speak to an adult like that. And he was very much a man, probably in his early thirties. But I was freezing, and I had to pee. In about two minutes, I was going to be warm for a whole two seconds before I caught pneumonia.
“I can’t let you in.” He dropped the smirk, eyes warming a little. “Why don’t I give you a ride home?”
I lifted an eyebrow at the bikes.
“In my truck.” He jerked a thumb toward a pickup parked at the end of the line.
“So you’re not a biker?” I had no idea why the question popped out. I was cold. I should’ve been climbing into the cab and blasting the heat as high as it’d go. Maybe I was just trying to delay going home. Or maybe I was disappointed that he wasn’t a biker.
“That one’s mine.” He smiled proudly at one of the bikes. “If I put you on the back of that, you’ll turn into an icicle. Come on. Where do you live?”
The door opened and a curvy woman with long blonde hair and bangs poked her head out. “Mercy! What the hell are you doing out here? Ravage and Bastard are at it again.” She slipped back inside as quickly as she popped out.
He darted in after her, not even sparing a second glance at me. I counted to twenty, then opened the door.
The Guess Who’s “American Woman” blasted over speakers I couldn’t see in the dim light. What I could see, very clearly, was the woman spinning around a silver pole on a stage.
A strip club.
I almost laughed, but a hard body slammed into mine. He glared at me with green eyes before turning toward another man.
“We voted on this, Bastard! Split table means no escort service. You can’t just do whatever the fuck you want!” the other man growled. His ice blue eyes nearly glowed with rage, his black hair damp.
Bastard launched himself at the other man. “The hell I can’t. I built this goddamn business, Ravage!”
The man from outside—Mercy—shoved himself between them. “Enough!” he shouted, his voice rising even over the music.
Everything stopped. The girls dancing on stage edged out of the spotlight. The crowd of men with dollar bills in their hands stared at the trio in the middle of the floor.
“I’m not gonna abide this shit,” Ravage said.
“Ravage,” Mercy warned. “This is a club. We have to take this to the table, not the middle of the floor.”
Bastard spat a wad of blood onto the floor. “Good call, VP.” He sneered at Ravage.
Mercy’s face hardened, then slipped back into a neutral mask. He clasped Ravage’s shoulder. “Take a walk.”
Fists curled, Ravage stalked outside, his blue eyes cold and unforgiving.
Mercy rose his voice again. “Show’s over. Eyes back on the stage.” He put an arm around Bastard and guided him to a door on the other side of the bar. They disappeared into the darkness.
“What are you doing in here, sweetie?” the woman from outside asked, spinning me around. Her blonde bangs framed anxious round eyes. Up close, I could see that they were brown instead of the usual blue. Outside, she’d looked angry, but inside she looked worried. It probably had less to do with me and more to do with the men.
“I was cold,” I admitted, the first truth I’d spoken that day.
“It is pretty cold out,” she said, steering me toward the door, “but you’re too young to be in here.”
“I’m eighteen,” I blurted. “Are you hiring?”
She halted, looking me in the eyes. “I’m Shannon,” she said, “and there’s no way in hell you’re dancing on that stage.”
I swallowed. “Please,” I begged. “I’ve got nowhere else to go.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, her chest rising and falling. “Why do I always take in strays?” she muttered. Opening her eyes, she fixed them on me. “I’ll figure something out for you. You’re not dancing. Want a cup of hot cocoa?”
“Coffee, please.” I licked my lips.
“Cream and sugar?” she asked as she stepped behind the bar.
Olivia’s mousy roommate Esther knows her biggest secret: how she “took care of” her stalker last semester with the help of her biker family. Now on graduation day, Esther needs her and the club’s help with a similar yet bigger problem. Before Olivia can ask the MC for another favor, her traumatic past walks into the clubhouse.
Her ex is the reason she can’t trust Cliff, the ruggedly handsome ex-con who helped her get rid of her stalker. Cliff risked going back to prison for her, and now he wants to make things between them official. In a perfect world, Cliff would be the one, but after the unspeakable things her ex did to her, she can’t let anyone close enough to hurt her again.
She couldn’t save herself back then, but she can protect Esther and her little sisters now. If the club won’t listen, she’ll make them. If her ex comes anywhere near her, she’ll “take him to the river,” too. And as her feelings for Cliff grow deeper, he’ll have to show her that he’s worth the risk.
A Risky Prospect is a slow burn, touch her and die, dark romance, and the second book in the River Reapers MC series.
Yesterday The Atlantic reported on the latest in the Meta AI hearings, breaking the story that unsealed employee communications revealed that not only did Meta knowingly use stolen content from the piracy site LibGen, it was Mark Zuckerberg who okayed it.
There’s a class-action lawsuit against Meta, Open AI, Microsoft, and other companies. If your work was used to train AI, you’re already included in the lawsuits. (There’s no need to join Authors Guild or take any further action at this time.) Right now courts are determining whether Meta, Open AI, et al violated copyright.
15 of my titles were used. I checked LibGen using a mirror site and they have over 20 of my titles. (I don’t recommend doing this, because the mirror sites are full of garbage and porn pop-ups and sketchy redirects. I don’t know how to check LibGen directly. Big props to The Atlantic for putting together tools for both waves of this!)
I’ve always looked at piracy the same. Yeah, it sucks that sometimes people don’t pay me for my books. I’ve got medical issues and bills like everyone else, and I really like to eat. The thing about pirates is, if you send one DMCA takedown, two more will pop up in its place. I’d rather spend my time writing. I like to think that piracy helps readers discover my books. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. I do have readers who buy my books and stuff, and my platform continues to grow every year.
This is different, though. These corporations are directly profiting off their AI and therefore artists’ work, without compensating us. We didn’t have a choice in contributing (I for sure would’ve declined had they asked and made me an offer).
And it won’t stop at books.
If Meta, OpenAI, Microsoft, and other corporations are allowed to use artists’ work without consent, compensation, or consequence, they’ll also use people’s medical information and other personal and even private data.
I wanna be nasty I wanna be mean I wanna be rude I wanna be obscene I'm sick of being a good girl I wanna go off rail I'm tired of playing safe I want an epic fail I wanna tell you to your face What I really think I'll make my mouth a haven Every time I speak
Every time my lupus flares, it does so with a chef’s special, a new or worsened symptom I already had that becomes the showstopper. 2020 gave me flare a la pleurisy; 2025 is serving peripheral neuropathy. Bon appetit.
I almost made it through this winter without prednisone—almost! It’s okay, though, because it’s still another winter I’m on less steroids, another winter without chemo entirely. For me, that’s a major win. Go Benlysta!
Peripheral neuropathy is hard to manage, I’m finding. Mine presents mostly as fiery pain in my hands and feet, with tenderness in my fingertips that defies all reason, the same treatment in my toes, swelling too, and pins and needles, and coldness. It also causes balance issues. It really makes me miss amitriptyline—but not enough to die. 🙃
Since my labs are okay, I’m managing it with a course of steroids, round-the-clock Tylenol, Motrin 800, and medical cannabis, and lots of rest. I’ve also recently cut out carbs almost entirely, which weirdly has made a huge difference in my overall pain and energy levels (until winter really got going here). I’m not allergic to gluten, so I’m not sure why this works, and I’m not asking any questions, either. I’m just saying no to the carbs.
It’s frustrating because things change so fast for me, especially during the colder months. I’d just gotten into a groove, after having just gotten into another groove interrupted by renovations, and the only thing I’ve found to be true with chronic illness—especially when it’s a dynamic disability you’re dealing with—is that the game is constantly changing, and I’ve gotta be ready to trade the system I just created for myself for a whole new system. Or go into flare survival mode, a place that I simultaneously appreciate and hate.
It forces me to focus on what’s really essential. It also makes me look forward to when the flare will pass. Even pleurisy didn’t last forever; I’ll never forget the moment I realized I could take a full breath without excruciating pain. I still get twinges of chest pain, but usually only when I’ve overdone it or I’m too cold.
I think of all the ways our parents already disapprove of him. This morning, when Lucy filled me in on what she was doing, she made me promise not to tell them. I’m twenty-one and yet apparently still have to swear to sister secrecy. Other than that, she didn’t tell me much. Just that her cousin Cliff needed some help because he just got out of prison. And then those cherry red lips of hers clamped shut.
It’s weird, because Lucy and I tell each other everything.
The second the sun touches my skin on the other side of the barbed wire chain link fence, I am truly free. It doesn’t matter that I have to meet with my probation officer, or that I don’t exactly have any place to go. All that’s important is I’m not rotting within those cement walls anymore.
This week’s episode of Books, Bud, and Brews 📖💨☕️ is delayed due to renovations in my apartment building. 🔨
I’m hoping they’ll finish up quickly and then I can batch record episodes so this doesn’t happen again. The funny thing is, before I started this, I thought to myself, Maybe I should record a few episodes ahead, just in case, and then I told myself I was just finding yet another reason to not start. Lesson learned! 😅
I’ll be back soon with a breakdown of Olivia’s post-traumatic growth and character arc in the River Reapers MC series, my personal author burnout story, and more reading to you from A Disturbing Prospect.
Remember how I was teasing “exciting things coming”? Well, those exciting things are here!
Romance with a Body Count
Elizabeth Barone’s Reader Newsletter
Romanticizing the ugly, live reading to you, and turning you into a character
February 2025
💝 Happy month of love! 💝
Where I live, winter will be over… soon? Usually I spend this season miserable, not gonna lie. It’s cold, and when it gets cold, my joints get uncooperative. Then the depression kicks in, and the whole cycle starts all over again. This winter I’ve been determined to find things to fall in love with, and I’ve fallen hard. Here are a few of the things I’ve been romanticizing:
winter sunrises and sunsets
all the hot drinks
electric blankets
walking arm in arm
💬 What are you romanticizing lately? And while you’re at it, tell me where you’re at in the world, and what season it is for you!
writing updates
Sometimes, you just gotta kick it old school. I printed out a hard copy of Sleeve of Hearts and went to town with a red pen, some Post-its, and a stapler. I feel a bit like a butcher, but this book is finally shaping into what I envisioned, so it’s worth it. Not only have I been restructuring the thing, I’m also writing new scenes that work so much better.
One thing about me, I will rewrite a book until it’s right. Now that I’m armed with healthier boundaries, some deep inner work, and craft enrichment, it feels right and good. I’m happier than ever and doing some of my best work. I seriously can’t wait for you guys to read Kinsley & Antoni’s story!
New Podcast
Remember how I was teasing “exciting things coming”? Well, those exciting things are here! After years of false starts, I’ve finally launched a podcast. And it’s a little different.
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Welcome back to Books, Bud, and Brews. I love saying that!
What a week. This week was really hard. I had to just unplug from all the media, and I needed to rest, and regroup a little bit, and I took a morning nap, which felt amazing, and I woke up actually feeling much better, and it was an accidental nap. *chuckles* I was watching the Reading Rainbow documentary, and that actually was just the pep talk I needed.
I don’t know—it’s so strange, sometimes when I watch things, or read things, they’re exactly what I need, and it was wild. Reading Rainbow—still saving my generation’s sanity, to this day.
So, what are we talking about today? We are talking about writer burnout, which is taking us out, one by one, like dominoes, and we don’t talk about it at all. So I’m gonna talk about it.
We’re also going to talk about character trauma, and character arcs, and healing together from trauma, in romance.
Please subscribe and give this video a like if you’re watching on YouTube!
So, creative burnout. It’s a thing. It happens to writers. It happens to us a lot. It’s an issue in our community that we don’t talk about. I don’t think readers are even remotely aware. I just think readers kind of see—you guys see the after effects of burnout, right. You’ll see that the series you’re really into is not being continued anymore, or that author’s not on social media anymore. Or, you’ll see author’s kind of rescheduling releases a lot or completely cancelling different releases, different events, stuff like that. I’ve also seen authors be really up front with readers, like “Hey, I’m going through this thing right now, and I just can’t get this book out at the moment. I need a moment for myself, and I need to regroup, reset, and relax, and reevaluate things. The wonderful thing about the book community is, people are generally pretty supportive of this. Which is why I don’t understand why we don’t talk about it, because our readers are very supportive, other authors are very supportive.
We got sucked into this myth that we have to publish quickly because the algorithms on certain retailers favor that. The thing is, before those algorithms were a thing, we were lucky if we saw a book a year from our favorite authors. I mean, authors were creating pen names so they could publish more than one book in a year. The norm really was every year or so you’d get a new book from that author. Sometimes even longer. Books used to take years and years and years in between, like, series books. I mean, if you don’t have the experience of waiting for the next book in the series, and you’re just so hungry for any news, and then it comes out, and you get that first cozy-up with it—it’s the best.
So we didn’t always have this insane breakneck speed schedule. Readers were happy waiting, writers would just take their time, focus on the craft. Things would just naturally come out, and people would get to enjoy them.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with a fast release schedule, do not get me wrong. Because it can be great, there are people who literally read books *snaps fingers* within hours. You’re amazing. So no hate to people that write fast or read fast. What I’m really talking about is when we kind of get stuck in this thought that, “I have to serve this algorithm. I have to be on this schedule. I have to be very fast. I have to keep putting books out. I have to release weekly, or monthly.”
I have actually seen people trying to do weekly schedules. I’ve seen people do monthly. It’s… a lot. The authors are suffering. That’s the thing. If people were not burning out so bad, and things were just moving along, that would be fine. The problem is, all the time, authors are disappearing, never to be heard from again. Authors that were doing well—that were kicking ass in their careers, that were really just taking off, and then all of a sudden, they burn out. I’ve seen authors talk about it, to the extent where they’ll kind of explain a little about what’s going on, and then I’ve also seen authors just never come back, either.
There’s also an issue within the industry of an expectation of speed. I was just talking with some authors and other industry people about how they’re formatting books and copyediting books that aren’t even written yet. So if you can kind of break that down and digest what I just said, they are copyediting books that are not written yet. *chuckles* I don’t know how that works. He explained it, it sounds stressful for everyone on all sides of it.
I don’t know what we’re doing.
I think that we need to start saying no. I think that we need to start putting boundaries for ourselves and others, and I think we need to lose the mindset that we are all in competition with each other. This kind of competitive spirit has become toxic. It’s one thing to push yourself and to want to do better, and keep pushing forward, and it’s another to just pit all authors against each other, and constantly be working against each other. We are actually on the same side, because I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t keep up with a person who can read three to five books in a day. *laughs* Never mind one book a day. I’m just always amazed by how quickly people tell me they read my books, or other books, or how many books they read in a day. That kind of thing always blows my mind, because at this point I feel like I’m lucky to read a book a year.
So what can we do? We can talk about it. That’s all I wanted. I’ve actually been in author groups where I posted something just saying, “Hey guys, we really need to talk about this, and try to figure it out, because we really are disappearing.” We’re burning out at, I think, a pretty steady rate, and it’s kind of alarming. I’ve also experienced burnout for myself, and I don’t want that, our readers don’t want that, we don’t want that for ourselves. We want better for ourselves. We want to have businesses that are sustainable and fun, and we keep getting better at what we do, and we do cool shit together. That’s what I think. So I think we start talking about it, and we collaborate on solutions for burnout. We get more collaborative in general. You know, you’re not my competition, I’m not your competition, because they’re gonna read all of our books, and then some. *laughs* So we don’t need to worry about whose book they want to read. They’re gonna read all the books.
And we also start setting boundaries for ourselves. We really think about, “If I’m going to publish a book a month, if that’s something I am going to do, that I’m comfortable with and able to do, and I can do it in a healthy, sustainable way, then what are the boundaries I’m going to put into place for myself?” Because you can’t keep pouring out of yourself if you have nothing coming in. And if you’re constantly working late, working weekends—and I understand a lot of us don’t have the flexibility in our lives to have a steady, consistent schedule at all. I mean, I don’t have kids right now, but I do have chronic illnesses. They’re like kids, they’re always needing something, they don’t go away, they don’t go with their dad for the weekend. *chuckles* Some of us are writing nights, some of us are working around other work schedules, some of us are working around family, so it’s a lot of different things that are going on.
But say I work nine to five. I stay tight within those boundaries. Or if I can only grab time where I can, say I’m writing tonight, then it’s only gonna be for an hour, 9-10 p.m., and then I’m done, I’m going to rest or relax or do something else. It’s about boundaries.
It’s also about saying no… to people that think we can *snaps fingers* generate a book. This is where it’s going to get interesting, because we have this AI technology now. We are not meant to just vomit things out. We’re not supposed to just endlessly go go go, we are human beings. We are meant to experience, and feel, and enjoy our lives. Yes, enjoy. We are meant to enjoy, and experience—even if the circumstances around us are not ideal and perfect, we’re still meant to enjoy and feel and experience. We are not supposed to keep going and burn ourselves out.
So I think those three things are a great starting point. We talk about it, we start collaborating more, and we keep some boundaries.
reading to you
Today we are reading from A Disturbing Prospect, Book 1 in my River Reapers MC series.
Last week we read Chapter 1 of A Disturbing Prospect, and Cliff got out of prison, and he is trying to figure out pretty much everything. He doesn’t have a place to stay, he doesn’t have anywhere to go, he doesn’t have a job, he doesn’t know if he has any friends or family that he’s going to be able to have as a support system, and he’s figuring everything out. His character arc is pretty awesome. I’m going to try not to spoil anything.
So when Cliff gets out of prison, he is dealing with several traumas. He’s processing so much. He has just gotten out of prison after a 20-year sentence. He’s dealing with grief, and loss. He’s also dealing with having witnessed a child hurt. He’s dealing with separation from his family. And he’s dealing with reintegration, getting back into society.
Everything is different for him. Those are the things he notices is everything is different. He is not familiar with anything anymore. The technology has changed, everything that he knew going in is pretty much horribly outdated, and there’s all this new stuff that he’s gotta figure out. So the first thing he has to figure out is, how does he find his family, so that he can maybe have a chance. Because the statistics of inmates committing another crime are really high when they first get out. Turns out there’s really no rehabilitation happening in these “rehabilitation centers.” There isn’t as much of a reintegration process that you’d think.
All of these things shape this characters as he’s—as you’re introduced to him in the story. You’re just kind of dropped into right when he gets out of prison, and he’s kind of just taking everything in, and realizing, “I’m all alone, I don’t have anyone, I don’t have anywhere to go. My only shot is finding my cousin.”
That character starts out very not sure-footed at all, really just having to pick up and really start building—and quick. He doesn’t have time or room for any trouble, anything that could potentially land him back in. He really just wants to be out, and not be there again. So this is a character that’s used to solving every problem with his fists and violence, and now he’s in a situation where he can’t do that at all anymore. He’s gotta do things the “legit way.” He’s gotta do things by the book. He’s gotta make sure he checks in with his P.O., make sure he gets a job right away, he has a place to stay—ticks off all the boxes because he does not want to go back inside.
Those survival behaviors that he had before don’t suit him anymore. He knows what he is and what he’s done, and he’s really trying to do different. After 20 years in the prison, living like that, having to fight to defend yourself, not having contact with anyone in the outside world, can he change? That’s what he wonders when he first comes out, Can he even change? Does he even have a shot at having a future, a family, falling in love…?
He can’t do it alone—we all need support—so the first thing he does is try to find his cousin and reconnect with her, because that was his best friend. But because of what happened and why he went into prison, he doesn’t necessarily know if he’s going to be able to find her, or if she’s even gonna want to talk to him. He’s very much dependent on her accepting him back into her life.
Their relationship was very, very good, they were very very close, like this, like siblings basically, except he was much older than her, so kind of more of a chibling relationship. He is really hinging everything, like, “If I can’t reconnect with this person, and she doesn’t want me, then that’s okay, I will go away… but then I’ll go away.” *chuckles* “I’ll go away… but I’ll also go away.”
So he’s in a very shitty position. It brings up issues of toxic masculinity, because he’s feeling like, “I should be the one taking care of her. I should have a job, I need to fucking get my shit together, I need to man up.” He uses those exact words. He just spent 20 years stuck in a prison with all these other men where it really is fight or die. It’s not a vacation.
So this character is dealing with all that, processing all that, and then he meets Olivia, and everything changes for both of them. They are immediately attracted to each other, and recognize something in each other. They also, because of their own individual traumas, can’t quite connect. He’s just getting out of prison and he’s like, “I gotta check all these boxes, because I’ve missed 20 years of my life. I want to have a family, I want to settle down… and I gotta do it yesterday.” Right? So he’s like ready to go, and she’s like “Uh, no.” She doesn’t want those things at all. They both have very good reasons for wanting and needing the things that they need and want.
They also complement each other at the same time. They also each have what each other needs. They have found a home and a family in each other.
Cliff immediately starts gathering his sort of support system. He’s got his cousin Lucy, he’s got Olivia, he’s also going to be having this P.O. that he can check in with, and then he will eventually have the club’s support as well.
He’s having to kind of learn everything on the fly, completely just picking it up and going. He doesn’t know what Facebook is, he doesn’t know how to use a cell phone, and he’s finding that even socially things have changed quite a bit, like in his own community. The people that he was familiar with have all faded away—the letters, the calls, the visits, those have gone. He doesn’t have any real community at all anymore. That looks completely different from what he remembers growing up.
Throughout the series, we see this character becoming less reluctant and more aware of his family history, and the generational trauma that he’s inherited. Through that understanding that he’s gaining, as he’s kind of navigating his role in the club and becoming a fully patched member, he starts to realize that he does want the club. He wants to make it what it could be. His father left a legacy that’s not so great. [Cliff] knows what he wants for it.
He goes from a person who has nothing, and has no direction, no support system—nothing—to a person who is leading. After not wanting to lead, but coming into that. Which has been so fun and so rewarding to write, and read. I know you guys love him.
His character was actually influenced by people I know in real life who did do time—throughout the years, spent a lot of time in prison, and actually were in prison longer than they were out. Through those experiences, they definitely have an interesting way of looking at life, and they have a very… amazing personality, quite honestly, because I think that it could change you. You could let it—like, Cliff worries about, is it going to change him, is he still going to be that monster that he thinks he is, he thinks he’s always going to be that person that went in and spent those 20 years in there.
It’s really easy to be that person, quite honestly. I think it’s easy to just give in and just let those things take over, and forget about what’s important, what’s within your control. I think it’s so much easier to just give in to it. Whereas, you can work and develop and evolve, and… I don’t want to say, like, “Take the lesson,” because prison is a very complicated conversation, and I don’t necessarily want to fully get into it, but I don’t think that most people start off in life thinking, “You know what I really hope? I hope I do some hard time!” *chuckles*
Most people are good people, and that’s not what they were intending at all. I think our system should reflect that, and support that, instead of supporting the chaos and trauma that come from being in prison. What I really wanted to do was highlight how very little support there is, and how very much we emphasize that prisoners should rehabilitate, but we give them very little support or opportunities to do that.
People can’t even get jobs coming out of prison. Most employers won’t hire a felon, and it doesn’t even matter if the crime wasn’t violent. In fact, recently I learned that most nursing homes won’t even let a felon recuperate in their nursing homes, even if they weren’t a violent criminal. That to me is just insane. You’re not giving people opportunities to actually come back into society. You’re completely blocking them out because of their past mistakes.
Through Cliff, I really wanted to highlight these things and draw awareness and attention to it, because it really is something that’s not mainstream at all. It’s just kind of always used as a plot device, like, “Oh, this character’s done hard time.” Well, you know, that comes with a lot of its own trauma, it comes with a lot of its own baggage, and it’s very interesting to explore, and I think it’s something worth talking about.
If you enjoyed this discussion on author burnout and character growth from prison to leader of the MC, please let me know. Please leave a comment on YouTube, you can also DM me, you can email me, or you can leave a comment on the shownotes on my blog.
Thank you so much for listening to Books, Bud, and Brews! I’m Elizabeth Barone, author of dark romance with a body count, and small town romance with a body count. You can check out all of my books, including some free books and chapters, on my website ElizabethBarone.com.
Thank you for listening to Episode 2 of Books, Bud, and Brews!
