“Hell, Established 1958”

He felt certain that something bad had happened or was already happening. His eyebrows furrowed. He tried to put the feeling in his gut into words, but it danced far out of reach before he could coax it into something tangible.

Horror just might be the love of my life. I started my career writing, submitting, and publishing it. I used to make my horror anthology The Last Minute Before Midnight available around Halloween every year. This spooky season, I hope you enjoy these tales for free, right here on my website.

Please like, comment, share, and subscribe!


Bruce Dean lost his job on the evening of the annual Halloween party. He could just hear his father: “You’re good for nothing, son. You should have gone to college.” He took the long way home from the old stamp mill and stopped at the town package store. Since he didn’t have to work in the morning, a few drinks at the party wouldn’t hurt. As he paid for the bottle of whiskey, his father’s voice continued: “How are you going to provide for your family, when the time comes? You need an education.”

“Why so glum, son?” Pat, the owner of Cerrito Package, asked as he bagged the whiskey and slid it across the counter. “Say, you’re off pretty early.”

“I’m just on my lunch, sir,” Bruce mumbled. “I’m picking this up for the Weatherby party.” He turned to leave the store.

“Lots of airplanes and ‘copters flying overhead today,” Pat remarked as the buzz of a plane flying overhead drowned out the sound from the television set in the corner. “I heard they’re doing some kind of testing out there.”

Bruce shrugged. “I should get going.” He tipped his cap and left the store, the bells attached to the top of the door jingling behind him.

The sky above him hovered bright and blue, completely absent of clouds—a perfect fall day. When his supervisor had called him into the office, Bruce already knew why. The mill owner had hired too many people during the economic boom after the war, and rumors about layoffs had been circling the mill for months. Most of Cerrito Del Fe’s people worked at the mill or in the mines. Harold, Bruce’s father, forbade him to work in the mines.

“Your best bet,” his father had told him years and years earlier, “is to work in the mill part-time during the summer and go to school full-time. Get out of this dusty old town.”

Bruce climbed into his 1940 Studebaker Champion. Turning the key in the ignition, he pulled the driver’s side door closed behind him. The Studebaker sputtered to life. Even with all of the money he had saved so far, he would never be able to fix the old car or buy one that wasn’t almost twenty years old.

As he got closer to home, he heard another plane flying low overhead, but barely gave it more than a second’s thought. Pat had been right about the number of aircraft flying over Cerrito, but it hardly mattered to Bruce—unless the people flying them wanted to give him a job, he surmised. He pulled into the driveway of his parents’ small home and turned the coughing Studebaker off.

The neighborhood sat, quiet as a cemetery after a funeral. His father wouldn’t be home from the men’s emporium for at least another hour. Harold couldn’t work more than five hours at a time since the mining accident. Bruce’s mother Nancy worked full-time as a secretary, but came home during her lunch hour. He took a deep breath, got out of the Studebaker, and went inside.

“Brucie,” Nancy said, drying a plate with a ragged dish towel. “What are you doing home?” She put the plate down, eyes searching his face.

He sat down and poured himself a cup of coffee from the carafe on the table. Even though his mother sat behind a desk and typed memos all day, her ankles were swollen to twice their size. Hot guilt washed over his face. He put the cup of coffee down, hands shaking. “I might as well just tell you,” he said, sighing. “Stan laid me off, Ma. He gave me a good severance, but he laid me off all the same.”

“Oh, Brucie,” his mother said. She rubbed his back and shoulders the way she had done when he was little and had the flu. “Well,” she said, sitting down in the chair next to him, “look at it this way. You can go to school now. I’m sure you can still use that scholarship—”

“I don’t want to go to school, Ma,” Bruce said. “How many times are we going to have this conversation?”

His mother shook her head at him. “Brucie, your father had nothing when he lost his job—”

“I have nothing now, Ma!” Bruce removed his cap and put it back on, adjusting it. “I just can’t see myself sitting behind a desk in some stuffy office every day for the rest of my life. It’s not for me.” He tucked his hands into the pockets of his jackaree.

“Oh, Bruce,” Nancy said, wringing her hands. “What are you going to do? Your father’s not going to stand for you sitting around the house.”

“I’ve got some money. I wanted to wait and save up more, but I think I’ll just go tomorrow,” he said.

His mother pressed her lips together and sucked them in a little the way that she did every time she had an opinion but didn’t want to express it. “You know what your father is going to say about that,” she said. She stood. “I have to get back to the office. Your father will be home soon. I think it would be best if you tell him you quit your job so that you can start school in the spring.” She kissed his forehead, stooping a little.

Bruce shook his head. “Are you saying that you want me to lie to him?”

“He only wants what’s best for you, you know,” she said as she gathered her things. She walked out the front door without a single glance back at him.



The phone rang, cutting off Harold mid-sentence. Bruce’s shoulders sagged in relief. He couldn’t stand one more minute of his father lecturing him. He was an adult. He should be able to do whatever he wanted, without having to get his father’s approval.

“Brucie, it’s for you,” his mother said, covering the mouthpiece.

“Who is that?” Harold asked.

Bruce stood from the kitchen table and took the phone from his mother. “Hello?” he said.

“Brucie!” Calvin sang from the other end. “Are you still picking me up for the party, or should I start walking?”

“Aw, Calvin, I’m sorry,” Bruce said. “I completely forgot. I’m on my way right now.” He handed the phone back to his mother and she gently laid it back in its cradle. Bruce grabbed his keys and jackaree.

“Where are you going, boy?” Harold asked. “I’m not done with you.”

Bruce sighed. “I already know what you’re going to say. I’ve heard it a thousand times. Tonight, I’m going to this party, and tomorrow morning, I’m heading to Las Vegas.” He looked his father in the eyes as he spoke, even though he wasn’t sure that he meant it. A moment later, he walked out the front door and started up the Studebaker.



“Did you make it to Pat’s?” Calvin asked as he slid into the Studebaker. Bruce held up the bottle of whiskey and his best friend whooped. Bruce tried to smile, but the corners of his mouth remained stiff. “What’s eating you?” Calvin asked.

Darkness slowly settled over Cerrito like ashes floating in a fireplace. Bruce shivered, despite the double lining that his mother had sewn into the jackaree. He shook his head. “I’m just tired, I guess,” he told his friend.

“I know what will cheer you up,” Calvin said. “Margaret Cox asked me if you were going tonight, and I told her that you would pick her up.”

“Why did you do that?” Bruce asked. His voice sounded flat to his own ears. Guilt writhed through him. If he couldn’t even manage to play the role of embarrassed friend, he wouldn’t be able to fake enjoying the party.

“You don’t like her anymore?” Calvin asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

The Studebaker hit a bump in the row. The tops of their heads slammed into the roof. “Ow,” they said in unison. Grinning at Calvin in the dim light from the street, Bruce felt a little like his younger self. He wondered when he had suddenly gained so many responsibilities and worries. “It’s not that I don’t like her,” he said, trying to explain his bad mood. “I just don’t feel like very good company tonight.”

Calvin clapped him on the shoulder. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t have a cure for you?” He removed the bottle of whiskey from its paper bag and twisted off the cap. Then he passed it to Bruce. “Have a shot. It’s on the house.”

“On the house,” Bruce said. He snorted. “All right, then.” He took the bottle and slugged back a couple of shots. Then he passed it back to Calvin.

“Give it a minute,” Calvin said. He took a shot of his own.

Bruce nodded. He stopped the Studebaker and made a U-turn. Then he headed to Margaret’s.



Bruce stared up the long driveway at the front door. The Studebaker idled in front of the house. Sweat dampened his palms.

“All right, now go ring the bell,” Calvin said, nudging him.

“Me?” Bruce shook his head. The world around him felt warm. Even the incessant droning of helicopters flying back and forth over the town felt soothing, lulling him into relaxation. “You invited her,” he told Calvin. “You go ring the bell.”

“I’m not the one who’s going to sleep with her. Besides, I’ve got my eye on Judy.”

“Judy Weatherby?” Bruce laughed. “She could buy your house right out from underneath you.”

Calvin shrugged. “Are you going to ring Margaret’s bell, or are you going to keep her waiting?”

“You’re right,” Bruce said, opening his door. “I can’t keep her waiting.” He climbed out of the Studebaker, swaying slightly as his feet touched the ground. A smile danced on his lips. More heat thrummed through him. He strode up the driveway to the front door. His footsteps felt light on the concrete. Perhaps, he mused as he climbed the porch steps, he had overdone the shots. As he neared the door, music floated to him on the air through an open window.

Taking a deep breath, Bruce pressed the doorbell button. His fingertips felt slick against it. He swallowed hard. He wondered if he should have waited to start drinking.

The door opened and Margaret’s father stared down at Bruce with raised eyebrows. “Can I help you, son?”

Bruce opened his mouth, but no words came out. Mr. Cox crossed his arms. Bruce’s heart thudded in his chest. He thought about telling Margaret’s father that he had the wrong address. He could just run back to the Studebaker and take off. The engine was still idling.

“Daddy,” Margaret said, peeking from behind Mr. Cox. She winked at Bruce. “He’s my date.”

“Let the boy speak for himself, Margaret. Now,” Mr. Cox said, his eyes boring into Bruce. “Can I help you?”

Bruce cleared his throat. “I’m here to take Margaret to the costume party,” he stammered. Mr. Cox glared down at him. “Sir,” he added. He swallowed hard.
Mr. Cox’s eyes felt like hot fire pokers drilling into him. “You’ll have her back before curfew.”

Margaret put a hand on her father’s arm. “Daddy, I’m almost twenty.”

Mr. Cox never took his gaze off of Bruce. “You’ll have her back before curfew,” he repeated.

“Yes, sir,” Bruce said, trying to speak so that Mr. Cox couldn’t smell his breath. He wished he had never started drinking. Sweat trickled down his back.

“All right, then,” Mr. Cox said. Bruce stood straighter, his jaw dropping open slightly. “Have a good time, kids.” He moved out of the way.

Margaret kissed his cheek. “Thanks, Daddy,” she called over her shoulder to her father.

Still gaping, Bruce felt Margaret’s small, warm hand slip into his. She pulled him away from the house and led him toward the Studebaker.

“Let’s go before he changes his mind,” she whispered.

“Goodnight, sir!” Bruce called. Calvin hopped out of the front seat, diving into the back. He rested his elbows on the front seats. Bruce held the passenger side door open for Margaret.

“Thank you,” she said. She glanced back at the house. Mr. Cox still stood in the doorway. Bruce whistled and got in on the driver’s side. “Hurry,” Margaret said. She giggled.

Bruce pulled away from the curb.

“Do you mind if I turn the radio on?” she asked, reaching for the dial.

Bruce shook his head. She switched it on. A Buddy Holly song filled the Studebaker, temporarily breaking the Halloween music marathon. Bruce loosened his grip on the steering wheel and actually looked at Margaret. She wore her blonde hair in short, loose curls and Victory rolls. Red lipstick painted her luscious, plump lips. She had drawn a fake mole on her cheek.

“Do you like it?” she asked.

Bruce nodded. Heat flushed the back of his neck. He imagined himself kissing her, his hands on her thighs underneath her short dress. “Marilyn Monroe, right?” he stammered. He wished he had put together his own costume.

Margaret nodded. She moved closer to him. “I’d like to say that I’m really glad you invited me,” she said. “I’ve been so busy with exams and I was hoping you would ask me—”

“Turn the radio up,” Calvin interrupted.

Bruce glared at him using the rearview mirror. Static crackled over the announcer’s voice. He wondered when the music had stopped. He turned the volume up.

“Reports… nuclear testing… It’s unclear… Reports of helicopters… military sighted outside of town… repeat, not an attack but… fallout test…” The static rose and completely drowned out the announcer. Then the broadcast went dead.

Heart thudding in his chest, Bruce pulled the Studebaker over onto the shoulder of the road. Several other cars had pulled to the side. Some people stood next to their vehicles, gazing up at the sky, their faces perplexed. Planes buzzed overhead.

Bruce climbed out of the Studebaker and looked up. “Those look even closer than the ones this afternoon,” he said. His voice caught in his throat. He swallowed hard and tried to moisten his dry mouth.

“Awfully close,” Calvin agreed, climbing out behind him. He tapped his fingers on the roof of the Studebaker. “What do you think is going on? Why did the program cut out?”

“Maybe it’s some sort of Halloween prank,” Margaret said from the other side of the Studebaker.

Bruce laughed, but it sounded strained to his own ears. His stomach tightened. The small hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He shivered. He felt certain that something bad had happened or was already happening. His eyebrows furrowed. He tried to put the feeling in his gut into words, but it danced far out of reach before he could coax it into something tangible. His shoulders relaxed slightly. Maybe Margaret was right. “Gee, I never thought of that,” he said to Margaret.

Calvin shook his head. “Look at all of us. I can’t believe we fell for—”

A roaring sound drowned out their laughter. Seconds later, a blast of bright white heat roiled through Cerrito. Houses along the streets exploded. Trees blew over. The blast rocked everything to the north, blowing it hard. Then, as if undecided, everything blew in the opposite direction.

The wind disappeared as abruptly as it came.

Only skeletons of houses remained. Cars sat like silent tombstones. Dust fell to the ground like flakes of snow. The doors to the Studebaker stood open, its windows blown out. Burnt husks lay beside the car, their features unintelligible. The scent of burning flesh filled the air.

A mushroom shaped cloud hung over the town. Thirty minutes later, soldiers dressed in black with gas masks strapped to their faces rushed into what remained of the town.



Bruce woke up to the clanging of his alarm, his body drenched in sweat. He felt as if he had just dreamed something terrible, but already the details were far out of reach. He sat up and turned the alarm off. Then he headed into the bathroom to shower for work. Things at the mill were tense, and the threat of being laid off hung over his head constantly. As the hot water sluiced over his head and down his body, though, he began to relax.

It was, after all, Halloween, and he and his best friend Calvin had a party to go to, no matter what happened.


Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

September writing, ditching Kindle, and a free short horror story

Happy September! 🍂☕️📕

It’s been a busy last few weeks for me. I’ve been banging away at my keyboard, because I’ve finally figured out how to write Sleeve of Hearts. I had to do a lot of things wrong first, but man am I proud of this version.

What I’m Writing

When I was writing the first draft of Sleeve of Hearts, I wanted Antoni to be that addictive bad boy hero, but I had too much fun and made him an asshole. It’s like accidentally adding too much salt. A little is just right, but too much and you’re parched. Seven drafts later, I feel confident unleashing Ant into Romancelandia. He’s always feeding Kinsley, supportive of her dreams and crazy ideas, and a total dirty talker.

I’ll be done with this draft soon, and then it’s off to my publisher. I’m hoping we won’t have too much to revise. Either way, it may be a while before it’s published.

This month I’m rewriting the ending to a horror novella 🐝 I wrote a few years ago. I got to the end and didn’t like what I’d planned anymore. It just didn’t work. So I put it aside and went back to my small town romances. Four years later, I’ve worked out the right ending, so I’ll be adding that, and I’m sure rewriting the rest so it works.

I’m also wrapping up the River Reapers summer bash miniseries from last year. I was writing episodes alongside my main WIP while juggling lupus things, and my hands got too full so I had to drop it. Sometimes life’s just like that. Anyway, I’m wrapping that up to warm up for my next project.

Pulling all my books from Kindle

Thank you so much for all the lovely comments on my open letter to Amazon! I’m really glad it’s not just me. I’m also really grateful for all your support. We can’t control what Amazon does. What I can control, though, is what I do, and I’m working on getting my store back up and running so that you can buy ebooks directly from me that will transfer between devices, as well as work with the Kindle ereader and app. If you’d like to help, you can become a sponsor for $5 a month.

Quitting social media

Earlier this month, I left Instagram for good. A few years ago, I deactivated my Facebook, then deleted Twitter. I’ll probably let my TikTok go, too. I’m feeling more and more disillusioned by social media, for a lot of reasons. Privacy, intellectual property, and algorithms, oh my—it’s much more complicated than I can get into in a newsletter, never mind one post. I forgot to mention in my goodbye IG post that I’m on Bluesky, a Twitter alternative. I’m also on Whatnot.

Livestream Friday, September 12th, @ 4 pm EST

Join me this afternoon for my first ever Whatnot show! I’ll be reading from A Disturbing Prospect, signing copies of the River Reapers MC series, and unveiling a secret project I’ve been working on since January.

I’m aiming to do these once a week, maybe themed. If you can’t make this one, follow me on Whatnot and let me know the best day/time for you.

Get in the mood for spooky season

It’s that time of year when I break out the spooky short stories! Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting one from my horror anthology The Last Minute Before Midnight. This week’s story is “The Corpse in the Tree.”


The only constant is change, and the book industry is sure going through a lot of them. I can’t thank you all enough for your support over the past decade. There’s so much to look forward to, I feel like I’ve only gotten started.

Until next time, happy reading!

“The Corpse in the Tree”

The corpse stared at the map sitting on the ground in front of him, then folded it and put it in his pocket. He did a double-take at the clothes he wore and nodded to himself. The devil always took care of him—in return. For a moment, a flicker of his former life came to him, then disappeared like a candle flame in the wind. He shook his head and got to work.

Horror just might be the love of my life. I started my career writing, submitting, and publishing it. I used to make my horror anthology The Last Minute Before Midnight available around Halloween every year. This spooky season, I hope you enjoy these tales for free, right here on my website.

Please like, comment, share, and subscribe!


He lay underneath an uprooted tree, curled into a twisted ball of shriveled limbs and paper skin. He had forgotten his name long ago, watching the years ooze by with hollow, sagging eyes that could no longer blink. He spent his nights weaving himself further into the roots of the oak, and his days watching the legs of children walking to school. Sometimes, if he got lucky, a couple would use his oak’s trunk as a thrusting post. On a bad day, a bum used his tree as a toilet. Luckily, his sense of smell had long ago deteriorated. The acid in their urine only burned what remained of his skin. He relished in the last awareness of being alive that belonged to him. Even the laughter hurt, though, flakes of skin soughing off as the corners of his wrinkled and dried mouth moved.

Sometimes, he absorbed more than just kidney waste. The extra proteins and vitamins stored themselves in the tissues of his flesh and gave him a little color. Sometimes, if there was enough, he could blink for a few hours. During those times, he slept, hoping that he would be able to open his eyes when he woke, or that he wouldn’t wake at all.

On a cool autumn night—he only knew this because of the colored leaves that blew into his shelter—he realized he could no longer move. He and the old oak had finally become one. He smiled on the inside. It won’t be long now, he hoped. A glow filtered in through the roots and he welcomed its light.

“I have one last task for you,” a rough voice said, cutting through the fog of his thoughts.

And look, the corpse thought. I’m hallucinating.

“Oh, knock it off,” the visitor said, poking his head through the roots. Hunched over to fit, he only slightly resembled a human. Coarse black hair covered his olive skin, a fur coat for his body. Coal black eyes bore into the corpse. Silver rings on his fingers glinted in the moonlight. Slowly, the corpse remembered who his visitor was. “You’re just as alive as I am.” The devil laughed.

The corpse strained his eyes, staring at the craggy face.

“Yep, it’s me,” the devil said. “Lost your tongue?”

The corpse moaned, a dry creaking echoing through his throat.

The devil rolled his eyes. “You’ve really let yourself go, man.” He snapped his fingers and the roots of the tree loosened, spitting the corpse from their clutches. “I think I’m gonna call you Squishy,” he said, laughing as the corpse bounced onto the soft earth. “Or maybe Pepper, since you look like a dead cat.” He dragged him out from under the tree and leaned him against its trunk. From his coat he produced a flask. “Whiskey,” he said, pressing it to the corpse’s lips. “Drink up.”

The honey colored liquid flowed down Pepper’s throat, warming his vocal cords and reviving his organs. As he finished the last sip, he blinked and looked down at his hands. They were still thin and boney, but bore a more red hue—coloring him like the passersby that sexed and pissed on his tree. He smiled.

“That’s better,” the devil said. He lit a cigarette and held out the packet to the corpse.

The corpse shook his head. “Those’ll kill you,” he said.

The devil tipped back his head and laughed, its echo booming through the forest. “You’re all right, Pepper.” He sat down next to the corpse and smoked for another moment before looking at the dead man. “Go on. Ask me.”

Pepper shook his head. “If you think I can do it, that’s all the answer I need. I want to know how to die, though,” he said.

“All in time, my good friend. Do this thing for me and I will give you the answer to your question.” The devil pulled a rolled up parchment from his coat and unraveled it in the grass. “This is a map of the city,” he said. “It’s a lot different from back in your day.”

Pepper only shrugged. He had assumed as much. People got restless. Things changed. It was a part of life.

The devil poked a finger at a red square on the map. “This dick’s got Frank’s daughter dancing for him. You remember Frank, don’t you?” When the corpse said nothing, the devil continued. “Take care of this for me and I’ll tell you how you can end your suffering.” The devil stood. “I’ll see you in the morning. Happy Halloween.” He disappeared.

The corpse stared at the map sitting on the ground in front of him, then folded it and put it in his pocket. He did a double-take at the clothes he wore and nodded to himself. The devil always took care of him. For a moment, a flicker of his former life came to him, then disappeared like a candle flame in the wind. He shook his head and clambered to his feet.

The place was only a few blocks away. The corpse caught a cab and, when the cab driver announced his fare, was not surprised to find a wallet in his back pocket. When he arrived at the location—a squat building with a flashing sign declaring live nudes—he was also unsurprised to find a driver’s license in his wallet declaring him well over age for the establishment. The name on the ID read Stephen Steele. He tasted it in his thoughts, but nothing about the name felt familiar. The nickname that the devil gave him did just fine. The guard at the door—a man as squat and solid as the building he allowed admittance to—waved the corpse in and took the next man’s license.

Pepper stood in the entrance, his newly revived sense of hearing cringing as the sound pounding out of the speakers assaulted the delicate bones in his ears. His stomach twisted and turned, and for a moment he thought he might be sick before he could even start his mission.

“Hey there, sugar,” a honey sweet voice purred in his ear. “Shot?” Pepper turned and blinked, his eyes taking in her sleek waxed and oiled body, clad only in a few triangles of cloth that, in his opinion, did not pass for a bikini. Yet no one seemed to care and, as he glanced around the room, he realized the others girls wore even less. His eyes widened and he took the shot that she pressed into his hand, tipping his head back as he drank.

“Tequila,” he growled, and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “How about some whiskey?”

She laughed and took the empty glass from him. “We just ran out,” she said.

Pepper snarled. “What kind of place runs out of whiskey?” He rolled up his sleeves and glanced around the room again. “Does a girl named Claudia work here?” The name came naturally to him, and he wondered what else had been in the devil’s whiskey.

The shot girl shook her head, bouncing her curls. “I don’t know no Claudia. All the girls here have nicknames.”

Pepper gave her a nod and strode away. He passed the stage and moved toward the bar. He snuck looks at the stage as he passed. A girl hung from a shiny metal pole in the center of the stage by her legs. Another girl licked her stomach. He grumbled and marched up to the bartender, a muscular blond man with piercing blue eyes. “Give me something, anything, just not that tequila,” he said.

The bartender grinned and handed him a cold beer.

As he sipped, the corpse leaned against the bar counter and checked out the room again. “Do you know the girls here?”

The bartender smiled and flexed his muscles. “Depends on who’s asking.”

“My buddy Frank’s wondering about his daughter, Claudia. Wondering how she’s doing.” The corpse gulped down the rest of the beer. He sneered as he set the bottle on the counter. “This is more water than beer. Gimme something with bite.”

The bartender cocked his head, one eyebrow raised. “You know Frank,” he said as he poured a glass of thick and dark beer.

Pepper let the beer flow down his throat. It tasted better than the other beer, but wasn’t quite right. He wondered whether all of the “I know lots of people,” he said.

The music softened slightly and a voice boomed over the speakers. “Now get ready, gentlemen, for the crazy, classy, sassy Diamond!”

A tall woman with flowing black hair and bright green eyes strut onto the stage, a silk robe wrapped around her. The music kicked back on at full volume and she shook her hair, curled her fingers around the pole, and lifted herself up.

Pepper gaped. The bartender laughed. “There’s your Claudia.”

As the tendons in her muscles bulged, the corpse noted the track marks lining her arms. He shook his head and withdrew a handgun from his jacket. No doubt the stuff she injected into her veins had been invented by the devil himself, but he never got involved in the devil’s games, he remembered. At the sight of the weapon, the bartender flattened himself against the shelves of liquor. Bottles crashed to the floor, glass shattering, and the fumes of alcohol filled the corpse’s nostrils. He smiled as the patrons around him scattered. The music remained on, though, and he used it to his advantage, running toward the stage and the unsuspecting Claudia, who spun from the top of the pole, her legs and arms spread like a halcyon.

He jumped onto the stage, more people jumping back from him. Pepper reached out for her arm as she lowered herself to the floor. He felt thick fingers close on his shoulder. His body jerked back as the usurper yanked him off the stage. A beefy dark man sneered in his face. The bouncer’s breath smelled like vodka and onions. “Did you think you were going to get away with this?” the man asked. The corpse wrinkled his nose. Pepper realized that he still held the gun, though. Hoping that he did what he thought it did, he fired into the ceiling.

The bouncer laughed. “You think that’s going to stop me?” He tightened his grip on Pepper’s shoulder, yanking him away from the stage. “I’d pummel you myself but—”

Yellow flames lit up the room, searing exposed flesh like a third-degree sunburn. It licked and burned the speakers stationed throughout the establishment, plastic oozing to the floor. The music stopped. The air crackled and sizzled.
The bouncer yanked his arm away, and ran toward the exit. Pepper smiled to himself. He turned back to Claudia.

She sat on the stage, naked but wearing a glazed expression. He reached her without hassle this time and clamped his cold fingers around her wrist. She stared up at him with widened eyes, her red lips forming an O. He squeezed her arm tighter and absorbed the heroin in her system into his own body. With a belch, he freed the drug into the air. She blinked and shook her head, tears springing to her eyes.

“Not so fast,” a voice boomed. The corpse turned to a fat, bald man, his arms covered in tattoos that wrapped around his muscles. “That bitch is mine.”

Pepper pointed his gun at the man, who laughed and drew his own. Before the corpse could fire, the man put a bullet into Claudia, who sagged to the floor.

His jaw dropped open and his arm sank to his side. He looked down at Claudia’s limp form. Sputtering, he stared at the man who killed her.

“That’s right,” the fat man said. He snapped his fingers and two men climbed up onto the stage. They dragged her body to the edge, then jumped down. As they prepared to maneuver her to the floor, Pepper shook his head.

He pointed his gun at them. Pale yellow flames consumed them, their flesh crackling and twisting. When the fire died out, only steaming, charbroiled bones remained.

“The gal comes with me,” Pepper said, “dead or alive.” He pointed the gun at the fat man, who dropped his own gun and held up his hands. The corpse glanced around. Patrons cowered in small groups, grown men clinging to each other. He pointed his gun at one of them and the man whimpered. Dark urine trailed down one leg of the man’s khaki pants. Pepper laughed and strode across the stage. He lifted Claudia’s body, draping her over his shoulder, and jumped down.

Outside, he waved his gun to hail a cab idling at the curb. As he ducked in behind the girl’s body, he used his gun one more time.

The establishment went up in citrine flames, puffy grey smoke curling against the black sky.



“It’s a damn shame,” the devil said, looking down at Claudia’s body. They stood in Pepper’s cemetery, the only place the corpse could find a patch of ghost flowers to use to summon the devil. The devil sighed and snapped his fingers. Claudia’s body disappeared. “Frank will see that she’s buried properly.” He lit a cigarette and again held out the packet to Pepper. The corpse shook his head.

“I’m sure you’re wanting your reward now,” the devil said. Pepper shrugged. The devil pulled an envelope out of his coat and handed it to him.

Pepper accepted it with cold fingers and stared at the front, stark and blank. He looked up at the devil. “Why did she have to die?”

The devil sighed. “Don’t get sentimental on me,” he said with a wave of his hand. He finished his cigarette and flicked it into a headstone. “I suppose this is goodbye.” He tipped an imaginary hat, then snapped his fingers and disappeared.



The corpse crawled back into the tangle of roots of the old oak, the envelope tucked safely into his jacket. As soon as his limbs were wrapped around the roots, he pulled the envelope out. Squinting at it in the dim light of the moon, he read the devil’s words—the secret to ending his existence. Absorbing the knowledge, he tucked it back into his pocket. Perhaps it wasn’t quite time yet. There were other girls to save. He could get faster. Maybe the devil could find him a better weapon.

He would sleep on it, he decided as he closed his eyes. He had lived so many hundreds of years. One more night wouldn’t hurt. Perhaps it didn’t matter, anyway.

Cold moonlight filtered in through the hole. The corpse slept.


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River Reapers MC Halloween Special: Part II

We’re seen as bad and dirty because we prefer another way of life. We live for freedom and family, and not the cultish, biblical, nationalist bullshit so many people spout. It’s about the freedom of the road in front of you and the one at your back. It’s about the freedom to ride as a woman alongside men, as equals. They don’t like that I’m not a possession. They don’t like that I wear what I want and fuck who I want, just like my brothers do.

While you wait for the next book in the River Reapers MC series, here’s a special treat. This spooky short story can be read as a standalone whether you’re new to the MC or a longtime member (trigger- and spoiler-free)!

Part II

Cliff

I’ve got one hour to get rid of a rat and get into costume, and my bike won’t start.

It’s my fault. I put it off too long. It’s just that this rat is my brother, someone like family even though I barely know him; being away for so long stripped me of that privilege. If we let him live, he’ll just cause more problems. It’d be stupid to let him hang around. One rat could bring down our entire club.

I’m not going anywhere if I can’t get my bike started, though. And if I’m late to this party, nothing will make it up to Olivia. She’s stressed the fuck out, scared that she’ll fail Shannon and Ravage. My job is to wear the dumb costume and host by her side, pretending we’re the cool couple who opens up our home to a town that doesn’t trust us on a good day. Shannon’s Haven is one of the positive things our club does that people actually see, and it’s what keeps the town from driving us out. It’s what keeps the police from raiding us. Because of all the people Shannon saves, we’re untouchable.

Another motorcycle pulls into the gas station, and I exhale in relief when I recognize the rider.

“You good, brother?” Donny calls out as he swings off his bike.

“Won’t start.” I throw up my hands. “Battery’s good and I just filled the fucking tank. I’m late,” I add.

“You take care of Ravage’s rat problem?” he asks, inspecting the bike.

“Not yet.”

“Better get on that.” He flips the kill switch back to off. “There ya go. Must’ve bumped it.”

I whistle. “I’m a fucking wreck.”

“If this is you on Halloween, I gotta see what you’ll be like on your wedding day.”

I look away. “It’ll never happen, brother.”

“Oh, I got a good feeling it will.” He claps me on the shoulder. “As long as you take care of that rat.”

“Why’s it gotta be me?” I ask him. “That’s usually your department.”

He chuckles. “Not in this case. That fucker’s chewed through everything in the dry storage, and he’s evaded all my traps.” His dark eyes meet mine. “Mercy said he heard you made friends with the rats in Lewisburg seg.” He holds a straight face for a moment, then busts out laughing.

“Fuck you,” I say, but I laugh too, only for a second. “It just seems cruel, to kill a guy who’s just trying to eat.”

“That guy bites one of the kids tonight, you’ll be singing a different tune.”

“My buddy doesn’t bite. I’ve hand-fed him cheese, for fuck’s sake.”

“That’s exactly why you gotta be the one to take him out. Fucker don’t trust no one else.” He pats me on the back again. “Clock’s ticking.” Turning, he goes into the gas station.

I ride over to the Mermaid and slip in among the chaos of a dozen club girls setting up. From somewhere I hear Pru delegating Olivia’s orders, and I grin with pride. Despite what Olivia thinks, my girl is running this; Shannon will be more than proud when she and Ravage walk in tonight, fresh from their mini getaway.

I close myself in the storage room, flipping on the light and standing still. A few seconds of silence pass, then I hear the telltale squeaking. A fat rat streaks out from the shadows, standing on his hind legs, nose sniffing the air.

This rat does not have any disease. He’s the cutest, friendliest little dude I’ve ever met. Maybe that makes me dirty and weird, the guy who makes friends with the lowest of the low. But it wasn’t that long ago that guys like him and me were equals, scraping by with whatever crumbs we could find, hiding in the shadows and biding our time. If I could, I’d take him home with me, but I’m pretty sure my landlord wouldn’t see him as a pet.

“Hey, buddy.” I hold out a hunk of cheese in my hand and, like usual, he comes right up to me. While he nibbles away, I scoop him into a rescue box and secure him. He scrabbles around inside, his squeaks accusing. “I know it, man.”

Swinging open the door, I pass him to the wildlife removal agent that I had meet me here. He’s a friend of Mark’s, so this’ll never get back to OSHA.

“I’m so sorry,” I tell the rat.

“Oh, don’t worry,” the agent tells me. “We relocate all our catches, unless there’s a reason not to.”

He carries the box to his van and I wish the little guy good luck. Then I go change, before I’m really late.

Olivia

I stand in the guest bedroom, staring into the framed mirror leaning against the wall. Even this spare room has Shannon all over it, cozy and dreamy with just the right touch of gloom. I’m so out of place in this costume.

I should’ve added this to the list. I don’t know what Lucy was thinking, giving us these relics from her years with her baby daddy. She probably thought it was hilarious, and normally I would, too, but tonight’s not the night. We’re trying to show the town we are the good guys, even if our methods are a little—okay, a lot—questionable. This just feels like we’re rubbing it all in everyone’s faces.

The whole town knows what Cliff did. It’s why our business slowed when he got out—and our clientele is always down for a drink and lap dance. It’s why people give us dirty looks when they see us in public. The benefit rides we do every month help, but only so much. That’s why the Halloween bash is so important. It’s a yearly way for us to change how the town sees us. They can’t hate the club that shelters half the town’s women when their own men drink too much.

People hate us because we’re up front about who we are; all of us have committed crimes. The only difference is, none of our men have ever beaten a woman. The only woman we’ve ever touched was Esther’s mother, and she had it coming. We’re seen as bad and dirty because we prefer another way of life. We live for freedom and family, and not the cultish, biblical, nationalist bullshit so many people spout. It’s about the freedom of the road in front of you and the one at your back. It’s about the freedom to ride as a woman alongside men, as equals. They don’t like that I’m not a possession. They don’t like that I wear what I want and fuck who I want, just like my brothers do.

And they definitely don’t like what Cliff did to his own father.

They didn’t like what Bastard was doing to Lucy, either, but every one of them looked the other way.

Taking a deep breath, I smooth my sexy police uniform. At least the handcuffs will be fun, later—if Cliff actually shows up.

He’s vowed never to wear orange again, and I’d hope that means not even for me—on Halloween or any other circumstances. He’ll probably just come in his standard hoodie and T-shirt, proudly wearing his cut over all of it. Even though I don’t blame him, I’m a little bummed that we won’t be in matching costumes. I know it’s one of those dumb, sickeningly cute things that dumb, sickeningly stupid people do, but just for once I want to be those people so deliriously in love, they dress up together. We have so few normal things. I’ll never admit it out loud, but I secretly enjoy when we do them.

“Let it go,” I tell myself. “It ain’t happening.”

I slip on my thigh-high boots just as the doorbell rings. I hear Esther open the front door below, letting in the first wave of ticket holders. Their gasps of delight at the fog machine and spooky music drift up to me, and I smile. If nothing else, I did a damn good job of arranging all of Ravage’s Halloween decorations. It’s not what it usually looks like, but that’s because I’m not Shannon. I’m me.

And I did it my way.

Joining everyone downstairs, I realize I am a little worried Cliff didn’t show. It’s not like him, and the last time he disappeared, I let Stixx set a building on fire when we found him. I get a little crazy when my baby’s in trouble. He, on the other hand, becomes totally unhinged if anyone even breathes wrong in my direction. I’ve seen him go from sweet and sensitive to protectively violent in zero seconds flat. I’ve never seen him blow me off. Even when we were broken up, he showed up for me.

I’m torn between concern and scorn when the door opens and he steps inside, his face blank while I take in what he’s wearing. He’s dressed in an orange jumpsuit, with “inmate” stamped across his back. With his long black hair down and the scar on his face, I can see the angry, lonely man he must’ve been when he was inside. He had every right to be. It destroys me a little every time I think about him ever being unloved and secluded, this sweet man who’s helped me shower when I was too shellshocked to move, and cuddles our tiny niece while singing to her—after changing her diaper, and no one even asked.

I’m supposed to say something, to lighten the moment somehow, but I’m struck speechless by how much it must’ve taken him to put on his “costume.” Even if he doesn’t talk about it, I know that being in prison for two decades did a number on him. He pretends he’s okay just so that Lucy, I, and everyone else don’t worry about him. I also know when he doesn’t sleep at night because he’s dreaming of Lewisburg again.

So I don’t crack a joke. I just close the distance between us, throw my arms around his neck, and pour everything I’m feeling into the kiss I breathe into his lips. “Thank you,” I whisper in his ear. “You didn’t have to do this.”

His palms cup my ass. “You have handcuffs,” he says with a grin, appreciating my sexy cop costume. “I definitely had to do this.”

“Get a room,” Esther says with a wink. A second later, Donny grabs her ass, and it looks like a pair of Converses are making out, because each of them is wearing a giant shoe.

The girls—vampire Cierra, witchy Abril, and the cutest ghost ever, Ximena—pretend to be disgusted, but they wear matching smiles. It’s so good to see them happy.

Lucy and Stixx shuffle in, with Bunny in the costume I ordered her months ago. I told them they had to match her, and holy shit, they actually did it. She’s wearing tiny boxing gloves and a matching red headband and shorts, with a white onesie. A spot of red still stains one of her legs. Stixx is dressed as her coach, and Lucy is a ring girl.

“I didn’t think you’d actually go for it!” I laugh. “I fucking love you guys.”

No one else in our club is sharing a theme. Beer Can is a dwarf from Lord of the Rings. Mark has a pair of vampire fangs in one of his pockets. Skid is dressed as one of the Men in Black. Vaughn and Cami came separately, but they’re both Boba Fett. Abraham must’ve lost a bet with Vaughn, because he’s wearing a rainbow tutu and a scowl.

Bree and Mercy come late, but their cheeks are flushed and she’s wearing the same witch costume she’s been rocking since I was a kid. Occasionally he steals her hat and pretends he’s her wizard.

Dozens of people come through the house, and between the ticket sales and baskets raffle, I’m pretty sure we’ve made at least what Shannon pulls in every year. I sneak into the kitchen for a celebratory drink, finally feeling like I can let loose.

The back door opens and Shannon steps inside. “Honey, we’re home.” She engulfs me in a hug, her witch costume almost identical to my mom’s.

They’re so similar, yet one stayed and the other left. “Thank you for doing this.”

“Any time. Did you have fun?”

“Yes,” she says, her eyes misting a little. “It was good to spend some time together. I missed him, crazy as that sounds.”

“I know what you mean,” I say, peering through the passthrough at all of my family together.

Ravage steps in through the back door, and I hug him hello. His face is painted as a skull.

“Seriously?” I tease. “How’s this any different from every other day? You did a good job, though.”

“You did good, kid,” he says, one arm still around me. “I knew everything would be safe in your hands. Both of your hands,” he adds as Cliff ducks into the kitchen.

Ravage steps away and Cliff’s arms take his place. It’s almost as if I’ve been passed from father to groom. Ravage and Shannon stand arm in arm, smiling over at us. A dreadful sort of deja vu locks my limbs for a moment, and then the Halloween playlist changes tracks and the ghoulish laughter grounds me in the moment. I have the whole night to look forward to, hours in Cliff’s arms, surrounded by the kids’ laughter and the wash of voices as everyone talks at once. I lean back into him, content.

I ignore the way everyone is looking back at me, because if I look too closely, I’d realize none of this is real.

The End

More books in the River Reapers MC are coming…

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Book 1 | Book 2 | Novella | Book 3

River Reapers MC Halloween Special: Part I

While you wait for the next book in the River Reapers MC series, here’s a special treat. This spooky short story can be read as a standalone whether you’re new to the MC or a longtime member (trigger- and spoiler-free)!

Before You Read…

Guess everyone’s costumes! Just save the image, then draw to match each character to a costume. Then tag me on Instagram with your guesses!

Part I

Olivia

“We’re throwing a Halloween party, and Olivia’s organizing,” Ravage, the President of the River Reapers MC says, casting me the quickest of glances. “We’ve also got a bit of a rat problem—”

“Back up a sec.” He’s not getting off that easy. It’s bad enough I have to clean up after their drunk asses as their bartender. It’s bad enough they pranked the shit out of me as their Prospect. These pains in my ass want me to plan their Halloween bash? The one that requires tickets, because so many people come, from all over?

“It’s not a big deal.” Ravage leans back in his chair at the head of the table, stretching lazily like he didn’t just hand me his baby.

This is the party. He and Shannon host a haunted house at their place every year, with music, food, and booze back at The Wet Mermaid, the MC’s strip club. It goes well into two in the morning, sometimes later, depending on how the police department feels about us at the time. All the proceeds from the ticket sales and raffles go to Shannon’s Haven, a shelter for survivors of rape and domestic violence. This is the fundraiser that sponsors everything Shannon does for another year. And Ravage is just giving it to me?

I’m one of Shannon’s strays, in a way. I washed up here every time my mother Bree disappeared, because before DCF got their hands on me, I belonged to the club. They were my family. Because of Ravage’s record, they weren’t allowed to foster or adopt me, so I was ripped from their leather-clad arms and placed with even worse people. As soon as I turned eighteen, I came back to the Mermaid for a job, and I’ve been family again ever since.

Now I’m one of the River Reapers, for real. Me—the little girl without a family. Now I’ve got more family than I can handle. Just like a standard suburban family, they drive me crazy.

I’d do anything for them, anyway.

“Is this one of those things where you surprise me with a little responsibility now because later you’re gonna drop the whole thing in my lap?” I slide a smirk over to Cliff. He knows exactly what I’m talking about, even if neither of us knows exactly where our complicated relationship stands.

“Sure seems like it,” Cliff agrees.

That’s just how Ravage rolls. He has his secret, all-knowing, father-knows-best agenda, and nine times out of ten, the fucker’s right. That’s what makes it infuriating. He knows what the ten of us sitting with him at this table are capable of before we even do. I always think he’s insane, and he always proves me wrong. Like the time he taught seven-year-old me how to shoot a gun. Way fucked up, but it saved my life later.

I know he loves me like I was his own daughter, but sometimes it’s so creepy, the way he just knows things. I bet the fucker even knows when he’s gonna die, and everything he’s doing is just to prepare us for that day.

Which is why I narrow my eyes at him.

“You love Halloween, and there’s no way Shannon just agreed to put all of her funding in my hands.”

“Actually, it was her idea.” His ice blue eyes are firm. “She wants to go away for a few days, and I want you to run everything so smoothly, she doesn’t feel guilty.”

In that case, I can do this. Shannon’s been like a mother to me over the years, in ways I never even realized. The least I can do is take over so she can take a break.

“Then I only have one question,” I say, lifting my chin.

“Yeah?”

“Can we still do the haunted house at your place?”

Cliff

I stretch fake spider webbing across the front bushes, my memories as real as the October chill in the air. Growing up, I wasn’t allowed around the club. My mother made sure that I was kept in the dark. Halloween was the only exception, and that was only because Bastard took me to the haunted house and straight back home. I gotta give Ruth props, because I had no fucking clue my old man was the President of a biker club. He came home for dinner every night just like all my friends’ dads. Until I found Ruth in the tub, I had no idea we weren’t like every other family.

A lot of the time, I’m angry. I try to hide it, but it comes out anyway. I’m Frankenstein, a big dumb brute barely holding it together.

I stick the little plastic spiders into place, envisioning the yard lit up by strobe lights like it used to be. This is the house that goes overboard every year, the house everyone wants to see. Shannon’s decor is already dreamy boho goth, so all it needs on the inside is a few fake spiderwebs and some mood music. Halloween is when it’s cool to show off the animal skulls she collects.

Olivia pokes her head out the front door. “You almost done with that? I’ve got another job for you.”

“All done.”

She steps onto the porch and I join her, wrapping an arm around her to keep away the chill. For a brief moment, her warmth seeps into me, and I close my eyes. Peace is so fleeting for us. Even before we met, our lives were a mess of chaos and hurt. She’s the home I’ve been aching for, but she has yet to invite me in. Not all the way, anyway. After all she’s been through, she guards her heart, and I can’t blame her. It’s my job to prove to her that she can trust me, time after time.

“What do you need?” I kiss the top of her head, breathing her in. Just her nearness sets my senses on fire, my hands longing to touch her.

But she pulls away, stopping me with a serious face. “I need you to get our costumes.”

I blink. “Costumes?”

“We’re the hosts. We have to dress up.”

“I’d rather get us undressed.” I settle my hands on her hips, drawing her back in.

“Yeah well, no one’s getting any ’til I’ve outdone every party Ravage and Shannon have ever thrown.”

“Tall order.” I stroke her cheek. “You’re doing great, you know.”

“I’ll do even better if you get us some cool matching costumes.”

I chuckle. “The day before Halloween? No problem.”

“That’s the spirit.” She unties her nest of curls and shakes them out, wafting the warm, slightly spicy scent of her shampoo my way.

“Anything I should avoid?”

She drops her hair, smirking. “Hmm. No bikers.”

I laugh. “Can’t make it easy for me, huh?”

“No photographers.”

“Is that even a costume?”

“Definitely no rockstars.”

I sober. She’s listing all the real-life monsters we’ve buried. “Probably no football players, then.”

“Definitely not. I’ll wear anything else. I’ll even go as a half-naked maid.”

“You promise?” I’m not usually a fantasy guy, but the thought of Olivia half naked in any form gets me instantly hard.

She gives my ass a swat. “Only if you go get those costumes.”

“I’m on it.”

Before I go, I pull her in for a kiss. I don’t give a fuck how much a hurry she’s in. Every moment could be our last. Too many people want us dead. There’s always time for kisses.

“Be safe,” she murmurs just as our lips touch. I nuzzle across hers, savoring the slow sweet burn. Darting my tongue against her lower lip, I tease her open. The inside of her mouth is hot and sweet, and the glide of our tongues is too quick. I capture her face in my hands for just a moment longer, feel her body slow and melt into me, tell her I love her with my tongue instead of the words she won’t let me speak.

Then, just as she surrenders, I break away with a wink.

“No one’s getting lucky ’til I get costumes,” I remind her. Her eyes flash, her face so comically disappointed, I chuckle. I kiss her hand, then hop off the porch. Just before I turn the engine of my motorcycle, I hear her mutter a single word.

“Gremlin.”


Every single store is sold out of costumes. I knew it’d be slim pickings, but they’re all cleaned out. There’s no time to order anything, either, so I’m screwed. I might as well not even go back to the house, not empty-handed.

There’s only one person who might be able to help me with this. Before I can call her, my phone buzzes with an incoming text.

<< Ravage: Don’t forget to take care of our rat problem. >>

Fuck. I tip my head back. I didn’t forget—no way I could. I just wish I didn’t have to be the one to handle it.

<< Ravage: I mean it. There’s a rat in the clubhouse and I’m counting on you to get rid of him, son. This could earn you a new patch. >>

This is exactly “one of those things” Olivia was talking about in Church. Sometimes Ravage drops little jobs on us, all while making this face like he knows something the rest of us don’t. He’s never had me do anything like this, though.

But he left this to me, right after putting Olivia on party duty, and if I want to stay in this club, I better make it happen. It’ll never leave the table. It won’t violate my parole. It shouldn’t bother me. But it’s brutal and cold, and despite the time I did in max, it’s not my style.

<< Ravage: Take care of it before the party tomorrow night. >>

Every kill is a stain on my soul, a soul I wasn’t even sure I possessed until I met Olivia. When I stood outside that motel and she offered me a cigarette, she lit up the parts of me that were dark for two decades, maybe longer. I want to give her a good, clean life, but there’s no such thing in this life we lead.

If nothing else, I can at least give her a costume.

I call my cousin Lucy. I’m ten years older than her but she’s the one always saving my ass. She picks up right away.

“You must be psychic,” she says, breathless.

My pitch for last-minute help dies on my lips. “Huh?”

“I need you to get over here, right now.”

I don’t think. I don’t ask questions. I just go.

Olivia

I fall back onto Shannon’s chaise lounge, enveloped by the emerald velvet and pile of throw pillows. The house is decorated, her cats are fed, and everything at Shannon’s Haven is running right on schedule. Tomorrow there’ll be late-afternoon trick-or-treating for the kids, then the haunted house will kick off the party over at the Mermaid.

Esther tosses the last goody bag into the box and stretches out on the floor. “You did it, girl.”

“Thanks to you.” No way I could’ve put together two dozen goody bags and care packages, while decorating and making sure the menu’s all set. Not by myself. I’m never alone, though, not with Esther. She comes with an army of little sisters eager to help, because even teenagers love free candy.

“Any time. I’m really excited about this party. I always heard about it, but thought it’d be all bad stuff, like drugs and violence.”

“That’s the afterparty,” I say, kidding. Biker family parties are just like any other family gathering. There’s booze and weed, of course, but no one would even think of lighting up in front of the little ones. The liquor is kept out of reach and the party stays family-friendly ’til the babies are all in bed.

I missed a lot of Halloweens after I went into the system, but I remember slow dancing on a slightly drunk Beer Can’s feet, eating plates of food made by Mark’s flavor of the week, and going home with my own care package for Bree. In each box, there’s a new set of clothes for each mother and child, plus all the fixings for a spaghetti night, and some necessities like deodorant and toothpaste. This year, I had Esther add one more thing: a fall wreath made by her little sisters. Bree and I never had decorations. I figure the wreaths will brighten up everyone’s doors, even if only a little.

Esther’s fourteen-year-old sister, Cierra, unplugs the hot glue gun she’s been in charge of for the past few hours. “Can we go to the movies now?”

“You good here?” Esther asks me.

I nod, too tired to speak.

“All right, we’re out, then.” She collects Cierra, Abril, and little Ximena, and then the house is silent.

The quiet hits me hard. Somewhere, a grandfather clock ticks, but other than that, there isn’t a sound. With Esther and the girls gone and nothing left to do, I’m trapped by all of my insecurities. Esther says Shannon would be proud, but I can’t help but feel like I’ll never measure up. Shannon gives without even a second thought. She makes so many lives better, never once complaining. I don’t know how she does it without collapsing. If anyone deserves a to get away, it’s her. I picture her and Ravage strolling down the Maine beach, and smile.

My smile drops when I think of the way Ravage looked at me. He had that gleam in his eye, that calculating one that tells me someday I’ll be running Shannon’s Haven, whether I think I’ve got it in me or not. His faith in me scares me more than anything else, because I can’t bear the thought of letting down the two people who’ve looked out for me my whole life every time Bree couldn’t. Shannon gave me a job as a bartender when I wasn’t even old enough to drink or confident enough to hold a man’s stare. She taught me how to be boldly me, just by showing me how to mix drinks I’d never heard of and banter with customers I’d never met.

Ravage is always saying things like “This club is your birthright,” because Cliff and I are second generation; we were supposed to be River Reapers but then we got taken away by two sides of the same system. I owe Ravage and Shannon everything, but I’ve always had my own plans, and I don’t know how those fit into who they want me to be.

After coming up in the system, I swore I’d become the kind of social worker I needed as a kid. I can’t take care of my clients and run Shannon’s Haven at the same time. If that’s truly what Ravage wants, I’ll let someone down no matter which way I go.

I’m good at my job, even if I break the rules at times; I’m good at my job because I’m willing to bend them. The one time I asked for help, my social worker was too busy to do even the bare minimum for me. The system needs people like me, foster kid alumni who wanna be the change or whatever. No one else cares enough.

But no one else cares enough about rape and domestic violence survivors, either. It’s the broken people who save other broken people. The problem is, I can’t save everyone, no matter how hard I try.

“It’s me,” Cliff calls as he steps inside.

I sit up, letting my worries fall away for a moment. Just hearing his voice eases the tension in me. Cliff is a constant reminder that I am enough. I know he loves me, even if it terrifies me to hear him say it. Hopefully he knows how I feel about him.

He bends to kiss me hello, and I rise onto my knees, stretching out the kiss. When he breaks away, I sigh happily.

“Did you get the costumes?” I ask, peeking at the big paper bag he holds in one hand.

It’s then that I notice the blood staining his hands and face.

“What happened?” I ask, standing.

In our world, there’s always blood. Every life we save is paid for with another life. Each monster we remove deserved it, but the lines in Cliff’s face tell the story of the toll it takes. It weighs heavier on his soul than it does mine. Looking at the stains on his skin, I know exactly why they called him Red Dog in prison. He’s a terrifying sight with his towering frame, broad shoulders, and dark hair, blood dried into his beard and under his fingernails. His name might be Clifford, and he might be a gentle giant with me, but he’s no docile puppy.

He glances down at his hands. “It’s not real,” he says quickly. “Lucy was doing this Halloween photo shoot with Bunny and it got out of hand.”

I sag back into the chaise, relieved. There’ll be no bodies to bury tonight. He sits beside me, pulling up a video. I watch my adoptive sister scrub her baby, covered in fake blood, in the sink. “I swear I didn’t mean to Carrie prom my baby,” she says in the video, and I snort softly.

“Lucy and Pinterest fail, in the same sentence? My eyes must be lying.” I fight another wave of yawns. “Please tell me you got costumes,” I murmur.

“I did,” he says, “but you’re not gonna like them.”

Cracking an eye open, I take in what he’s holding up. He’s right.

To be continued…

Read Part II

Catch Up on the River Reapers MC Series

Book 1 | Book 2 | Novella | Book 3