A dark second chance romance told with 11 songs

Music is a powerful tool. All of Mike’s concussion clinic providers are about 45 minutes away from our apartment—plus traffic. “Exhausted” is my baseline, but when he started having seizures, I took over as driver. It’s been good for me, in a sense, challenging me out of my comfort zone and into pushing myself a little bit more. But driving requires a lot of focus, which eats up a lot of my spoons—especially when I’m in a flare.

“Hit me with something high octane,” I beg Mike, passing him my phone. He puts on Kylesa, and it actually perks me up.

This isn’t the first time I’ve used music to set my own mood. I do it a lot when I’m writing, especially when writing dual POV romance. The two lead characters are often different as night and day, even down to the music I put on to get in their heads.

When I wrote Bree’s chapters for Her Mercy, I listened to a lot of Liela Moss’s My Name is Safe in Your Mouth. All of the songs on this album have a sad, romantic, nostalgic feel to them. There’s wisdom woven into the heartbreak, a constant thread of self-discovery. The novella is dual POV but the story is really driven by Bree; Mercy’s all in, it’s Bree who has to face and save herself.

The playlist for Her Mercy is shorter than the other books’ playlists, mostly because I listened to that Liela Moss album quite a bit. I kicked it off with Fleetwood Mac’s “Gypsy” to set the mood of the book. It’s pretty much the soundtrack to a then 14-year-old Bree having run away.

When she stumbles upon The Wet Mermaid and walks into the strip club, “American Woman” is playing. This song is required for all biker gatherings. I’m pretty sure it’s an unwritten rule. This is the first time Bree has a run-in with Bastard, and it won’t be the last.

As Mercy searches for Bree in the present, both of their past selves grapple with everything they know exploding.

Mercy struggles to believe the evil things his lifelong friend Bastard does, hoping to rescue him from the darkness before it swallows both of them and the club they built.

Bree is alone in the world, reeling after a shocking event that sent her running. She’s convinced Mercy and the others to let her stay, but she doesn’t really belong.

Not that she belongs anywhere or to anyone, not anymore.

To keep Bree safe from Bastard, Mercy pretends to marry her, making her forever off limits. But he can’t keep her safe from herself, no more than he can stop the fire burning inside him.

Being fake married only brings them closer. Bree’s balm soothes the pain in Mercy’s bones, and when he tells her the truth about Bastard, she urges him to take it to the MC’s table for a vote. Mercy knows she’s right, that Bastard can’t be allowed to hurt anyone else ever again, but it’s soul-crushing, accepting what his best friend’s become.

As everything comes to a head in the past, Mercy searches for Bree in the present. He’ll never break the vows he made to her, but she sure doesn’t make it easy.

Especially when she runs away again just as he closes in.

When they finally reunite, even though they have much to reconcile, it’s clear that they belong together.

It won’t be easy, but now that they’re together, they can heal the past and face the future.

Read Her Mercy

Ebook, serial, and paperback editions of Her Mercy are now available! Read serialized chapters for free on my website. All you need is a valid email address. You can also purchase the ebook or paperback through your favorite retailer.


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Be a character in my next book

I have a really fun idea for Sleeve of Hearts, and I want you to be part of it!

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Kinsley thinks she’s “just a hairdresser” expanding her services by apprenticing under her award-winning big sister, but she, her cosmetology business, and a whole bunch of townies are actually gonna save the day. And you can be one of those townies!

What’s a townie? A townie is a character seen around the town of Stagwood Falls but not a main character in the book.

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So for example, Denise’s townie is a local professional singer who Kinsley does hair and makeup for. We’ll see her in the beginning of the book and again at the end. Your townie may appear multiple times.

Thank you to my first sponsors B, Denise, Lauren, Vanessa A., and Vanessa D., and welcome to Stagwood Falls!

If you’ve read A Touch of Gold and Tattooed Heart, and want to be part of the epic finale in Sleeve of Hearts, let’s turn you into a townie!

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“I Have to Tell You Something” | River Reapers MC Summer Miniseries: Part 6

“I have to tell you something, something you can never, ever repeat, because the whole club and everyone else we love would be at risk. It’s just—” She blinks away tears. “I can’t hold this secret, not on my own. I promised, but I just can’t.”

author’s note

You’re reading the latest episode in summer 2024’s River Reapers MC miniseries. If you’re already caught up on all six episodes, stay tuned.

If you’re just coming in now, you don’t need to read the books to follow along, but you do need to catch up on Parts 1-5!

catch up

Cliff

Something is wrong. I can tell by the way Olivia shrinks into Lucy’s condo, making herself smaller with each step inside. She closes the front door and leans against it, rose red lips sighing softly. I don’t want to push her but I don’t want to leave her lonely in whatever she’s going through. I don’t want to scare her, either—last time I startled her in Lucy’s living room, she went all MMA on me. Which was hot, not gonna lie. I love that my girl can take care of herself.

Sometimes I just wish she’d let me take care of her, though.

So I stand real slow and say, real soft, “Hey.”

She walks into my open arms, resting her head and its soft curls against my hard chest. In prison, there wasn’t much else to do other than workout and read, so I went in scrawny and walked out stacked, with a lot of interesting but ultimately useless knowledge.

They don’t exactly want people to better themselves, not really.

“Something happened,” I say more than ask.

She nods, the slightest movement that I wouldn’t have caught if her head wasn’t right on my chest. My heart slams against my sternum and I know she can hear it. All I can do is pray to a god I don’t even believe in that the something that happened isn’t the something I fear most.

There are now three women in my life that I love more than anything: the fiery redhead who I still think of as my baby cousin, her green-eyed daughter who is no longer a baby but will always be Baby, then there’s Olivia, my baby, the love of my life, the one I want to build a future with. If anything happened to any of them, I’d rip the earth apart with my bare hands until I’ve beaten everyone responsible back to dust.

Olivia pulls away from me but slips her hand into mine, leading me back to the couch. “I have to tell you something, something you can never, ever repeat, because the whole club and everyone else we love would be at risk. It’s just—” She blinks away tears. “I can’t hold this secret, not on my own. I promised Ravage, but I just can’t.”

A growl rises in my throat. I’m sick to death of Ravage and his secrets. So much so that I’m wondering if maybe it’s time for a change in leadership. Because we can’t all keep fumbling in the dark, not if we’re going to survive. Not while he keeps all the club’s secrets, only telling the rest of us when he deems it necessary. Someone’s going to get killed that way.

Maybe even one of the women I love most.

But I swallow my rage and say to Olivia, “Tell me.”


“The club makes its money three ways: flesh, drugs, and guns. Ravage, Mercy, and your father Bastard wanted to do better than other MCs. Instead of helping sell women and children into sexual slavery, they founded The Wet Mermaid, where women of age could voluntarily dance for a living. We work with Shannon’s Haven, offering jobs to survivors of sexual and physical abuse in not just dancing, but also bartending, waitressing, and management. We essentially give survivors a way to reclaim their power. I’m proud of that. I’m proud to be a part of it.

“We also sell drugs, literally under the bar counter. I’m… I’m not so proud of that. My foster parents—Lucy’s parents, your aunt and uncle—are big cokeheads, and they get their coke through us. Not me—they don’t ever come in here when I’m working. But they’ve always been a part of this club, all while pretending to look down their noses at it.

“I’ve sold coke, pills, and weed at that bar, while pouring drinks. I’m not proud of that, not at all, and if I was President or even VP of this MC, I’d change that in a heartbeat.

“But it’s not so simple.

“Because we also deal in guns. Every single one of us has a piece. Even you, Cliff. The serial numbers have been filed off, making it obvious they weren’t acquired legally. The Wet Mermaid not only serves as our clubhouse and a licensed strip club, but also as a front for laundering that drug and gun money. And today I learned where those drugs and guns really come from.

“Just like I learned what happened to Tommie’s mother.

“Ravage was dating her—well, I say ‘dating’ loosely. Shannon had kicked him out because he was fucking this other woman: Tommie’s mother. She was one of the club hangarounds. She really liked her coke, Ravage says.

“So my first thought, when we were sitting in his office and he told me all this, was that maybe she died of an overdose. Maybe she accidentally OD’d and he panicked and dumped her body. But that… that’s just not Ravage. I know he’s a killer. I know what he’s capable of. I know he can be colder than ice. But he’s not that cold. Not at all.

“No, what really happened is so much worse, Cliff. So much worse.

“Because we’re in bed with the mafia. The Violante family, specifically. And Tommie’s mother saw something she wasn’t supposed to, all because Ravage couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. So they got rid of her. They got rid of her, Cliff, and then Ravage and everyone else pretended they’d never even heard of little Tommie’s mother.

“Tommie went into the foster care system,” Olivia says with a sob. “She went to horrible people in horrible homes who did horrible things to her, and she never ever knew what really happened to her mother. But I know. Ravage knows. And now you know, too.

“And we can never, ever tell her, because the Violantes will make us all disappear. Us, and Lucy, and even innocent little Bunny. Tommie, too. All because Ravage couldn’t keep his dick to himself.

“And now I’m not proud at all,” she finishes with tears flowing down both sides of her face, and my heart breaks, the cracks filling in with rage, burning through me until all I can see is red.

To be continued…


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Part 5: “I Think We’re Alone Now” | River Reapers MC Summer Miniseries

Our motorcycles are the only two in the otherwise empty parking lot. He could kill me out here and nobody would know. I touch the gun in its holster under my jacket, check the knife sheathed in my boot.

I’m as prepared as I can get.


Author’s Note

You asked for more Olivia and Cliff, very very nicely, so here it is! This miniseries runs for 12 weeks (and you don’t need to have read the books to follow along). So grab a snack and drink, kick back, and enjoy.

Catch Up: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4


Part 5: “I Think We’re Alone Now”

Olivia

My day drags, even though I spend most of it organizing the club’s big barbecue. I have our treasurer Mark Venmo me funds so I can book catering and entertainment, then my latest social work case walks into my office.

It’s another missing mother.

“I don’t have any updates, sorry,” I tell my client. What I don’t tell him is how his case made the dark shadows under my eyes even darker. There isn’t a concealer or any amount of sleep that could erase the stain it’s left on my soul.

In response, he shrinks into his hoodie, pulling the hood up over pastel pink hair.

“Bryce,” I say gently.

He lifts his head, blue eyes underlined with red.

“I promised you we’d get answers, and we will.” Even as I say it, it feels flimsy. Fake. I’m waiting for a text from Pru to confirm her band can play the barbecue, while my foster son sits across from me with swollen, haunted eyes.

The door swings open and Esther’s little sister Cierra slips into my office. She fits into the same chair as Bryce, their bodies entwining to make it work. Her small hand disappears into his. With her doe eyes and his baby blues watching me, I struggle not to fidget in my seat. Their gazes aren’t accusing but they aren’t exactly brimming with faith, either.

I’ve let them both down.

I’ve let down my whole club.

I turn, pressing keys on my computer like it’ll rewrite the script. When I look back at the chairs, both teens are gone.

I’m almost relieved.

The clock strikes five and there’s nothing else to do but face Ravage. Since I rode into work today, I ride over to The Wet Mermaid.

Even though I’ve known Ravage my whole life, I hesitate outside. Our bikes are the only two in the otherwise empty parking lot. He could kill me out here and nobody would know. I touch the gun in its holster under my jacket, check the knife sheathed in my boot.

I’m as prepared as I can get.

I find Ravage sitting at the bar, an expensive-sounding bottle of a liquor brand I’ve never heard of in front of him, with two shot glasses. He holds one up to the dim light, as if inspecting it for flies. The amber liquid sloshes in the glass.

“What are you drinking?” I ask, taking the stool beside him.

“What are we drinking,” he corrects, pouring me a few fingers. As the glass fills, I smell whiskey. He passes it to me, we clink, and drink in silence.

I wait.

“I remember when you were born,” he says finally. “You were the first club baby since Cliff, so all the guys were excited. Should’ve seen it. The maternity waiting room full of a bunch of bikers. Smelled like a distillery.” He chuckles. “We had to take turns in your mother’s room. To meet you,” he explains, pouring for both of us.

Again we tap glasses, again I wait.

“You were so small. Looked even littler nestled in all this leather. Even though you were Mercy’s, I knew from the moment I held you that I’d die for you.” His smile is warm contrast to the ice and grit of his voice.

I don’t know why I doubted him, this man who’s always had my back. Often when I didn’t even know it. He never asked for anything in return, never demanded thanks. Yet I couldn’t even give him the benefit of the doubt.

I bow my head in shame.

“I know you, Olivia,” he says in a low rasp. “I know you won’t let this go until you get answers. The question is, will you like what you hear?”

I lift my gaze to his, finding icy blue eyes appraising me. “Tell me.”

Lifting a finger, he pours another round. Clink, drink, slam, the sound echoing through the empty room.

“Where is everyone?” I ask. Even Cliff isn’t here yet, which is odd since we’re on similar schedules.

“I was Tommie’s mother’s boyfriend,” Ravage begins, and I forget how alone we are.

“Tell me. Tell me everything,” I say, and he does. When he finishes, I pour us both a shot.

I’ve never needed it more.

“You understand, now, why you need to let this go?” he asks, eyeing me.

I can’t even speak, so I nod.

I don’t know how I’ll face anyone after this, least of all myself.

Continue Reading


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Part 4: “Wasn’t He Married?” | River Reapers MC Summer Miniseries

“Everyone cleared out like they were all guilty,” I told Lucy. “What else did Stixx say? He was there, too.” I don’t mean to sound accusing, but it’s just all so weird.


Author’s Note

You asked for more Olivia and Cliff, very very nicely, so here it is! This miniseries runs for 12 weeks (and you don’t need to have read the books to follow along). So grab a snack and drink, kick back, and enjoy.

Catch Up: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3


Part 4: “Isn’t He Married?”

Olivia

I can’t believe it’s Ravage. I can’t believe he kicked everyone out and then just took off before anyone could say anything. I can’t believe they all just left. Cliff and I stand in the abandoned conference room, the scent of sex still in the air, droplets of his release drying on the old wooden table.

He gives me a cocky grin. “We should probably clean that up.”

I drag a finger through it, licking it with a smack of my lips. “All done.”

The stare he gives me is heated, sending a zing straight to where I’m already wet. That’s the thing about Cliff. I’m always ready for him.

“We should probably get going,” I say with a sigh. I don’t know where everyone else went, let alone Tommie. The whole day has this dreamlike, hazy quality to it, moments slipping through my fingers.

The doors swing open and Lucy strides in, my niece babbling away on her hip. Tiny Bunny with her chubby cheeks and twin devil horns—her hair is getting so long but isn’t quite long enough for actual ponytails. She reaches for Cliff and he scoops her up, Lucy laughing even as her daughter clings to a handful of her red hair.

“What brings you here?” I ask. She’s never been to The Wet Mermaid, aside from that time I threw her baby shower here. She gave me so much shit for that.

“I need you to watch her, Auntie.” She gives me hopeful big sister eyes, then looks back at her toddler. “I’ve got a date,” she says in a low voice.

Cliff and I exchange a look before I turn back to my adoptive sister.

“Of course,” I tell her. “When do you need me?”

“Tonight.” She bats lashes at me, and I laugh. “Pretty please.”

“You got it,” Cliff replies, and Lucy squeezes us both in a group hug that should be awkward but instead warms me to my toes. She kisses Bunny’s chubby cheek and skips off.

“I guess we’re on baby duty,” I say, Cliff’s eyes meeting mine. It hits us both at the same time. “We both ride. How are we gonna get her home?”


With the baby—who’s looking less and less like a baby every day, toddling around on more and more solid legs—fed and fast asleep for the night, I snuggle into Cliff’s arms on the couch, a movie playing in front of us on the flat screen. Except neither of us are watching.

Cliff’s hand skates back and forth on my belly, a comforting more than sexual motion, his arms wrapped tight around me. It’s my very own weighted blanket.

“Anything?” I ask, nodding to our phones on the coffee table.

“No,” he says into my hair—the answer I already knew.

When we walked onto the floor back at the clubhouse, the place was empty, stools up on the tables and bar, the place mopped and shut down for the night. The Mermaid never closed, not truly. When it wasn’t open for business, it served as our private venue for whatever we needed. I held Bunny close as we walked through, meeting our Uber in the employees-only parking lot out back. Only when we were safely locked in Lucy’s condo did I exhale.

Her key slides into the lock in the front door and Cliff’s hand stills. “Hey,” Lucy calls as she comes into the living room. “Ooh, OG Dune.” She perches on the arm of the couch.

“More like Snooze,” I say through a yawn.

“I’ll put some coffee on,” she says, “because I found out some shit.”

That perks me up.

“What shit?” I follow her into the kitchen, leaving Cliff lounging on the couch.

“You too,” she calls to him, and a moment later he joins us. She busies herself with the French press, keeping me on pins and needles until she turns to us, biting her lip. “Um. So, I have a confession to make.”

“We already know you’ve been banging Stixx, honey,” I tell her.

Cliff nearly spits out his coffee.

Her shocked green eyes bounce between us. “You knew?!”

“So what’d ya find out?” I press.

Recovering, she sinks into the chair next to me. “Well, Stixx says that it’s entirely possible that Ravage dated Tommie’s mom.”

“How would he know?” I ask.

“We’re almost the same age,” Cliff adds. “Stixx wasn’t even a member back then.”

Lucy waves a hand. “Right, but here’s the thing. Ravage and Shannon weren’t married back then, either.”

I’ve never had a stable family system, not until the River Reapers and Ravage and Shannon. Those two have always been a unit, so it’s a bit jarring to hear that my father figure wasn’t always faithful. I shake my head.

“I’m sorry, Livvie,” Lucy says, reaching for my hand. She knows how much I look up to them; her parents weren’t exactly the best role models, what with all their drugs and neglect.

“That’d be why he took off,” Cliff says with a pained sigh, one that scrapes up through his chest, escaping past his lips. “I just can’t see him killing a woman.”

“Everyone cleared out like they were all guilty,” I told Lucy. “What else did Stixx say? He was there, too.” I don’t mean to sound accusing, but it’s just all so weird. It was as if they’d never been there in the first place.

She shrugs. “We didn’t really talk about it much.”

“C’mon, Luce, really?” Cliff prods. “You were out all night…” His voice trails off as he gets it.

“Sorry, cousin.” My sister lifts her coffee mug in a salute. “I’ve got to shower and get ready for work.”

“Work?” I repeat, but when I glance out the window, I see the sky lightening, hear birds calling to each other softly as their day begins. “Wait, I need one, too.” But she’s already upstairs, and a second later the pipes clang. I cast a long look at Cliff.

“Don’t look at me.” He holds up his hands.

“You’re the one who wanted to watch that long-ass movie.”

The grin that spreads across his face is both mischievous and adorable, not at all remorseful. “I got to spend the whole night with you.” He pulls me into him, dipping me back for a kiss. When he lets me go all too soon, I pout. “I’ve got work, too, and so do you.” He smacks my ass lightly. “Better go kick Lucy out before she uses all the hot water.”

He’s not wrong, so I hurry upstairs, but even as I make light threats for custody of the shower, I’m dreading seeing Ravage later.

How will I look him in the eye, knowing he might’ve been the one to kill Tommie’s mother?

To be continued…

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“Take Me to Church” | River Reapers MC Miniseries: Part 3

Olivia’s hand slips into mine and pulls my palm to her, up under her shirt. “I just want to forget, for a bit,” she says.

There’s nothing else to say. I close my fingers around her breast, the softness of it light in my hand, giving it just the right pressure she likes. Her hands clasp my face, my beard brushing against her fingers. It’s getting long, longer than I’ve ever let it get. Not counting prison.


Author’s Note

You asked for more Olivia and Cliff, very very nicely, so here it is! This miniseries runs for 12 weeks (and you don’t need to have read the books to follow along). So grab a snack and drink, kick back, and enjoy.

‼️ This week’s episode is NSFW. Read at your own risk! ‼️

Catch Up: Part 1 | Part 2


Part 3: “Take Me to Church”

Cliff

Around the table, my brothers—the other members of the MC—stare blankly at Olivia.

“What’d you say her name was?” Beer Can asks, the crow’s feet at his eyes more pronounced as he squints at her.

Olivia’s lips part, then close. “I… She didn’t say.”

Skid scoffs. “You dragged us all out here for a woman whose name you didn’t even get? What is this?” he asks Ravage.

Olivia bites her lip.

I rush to defend her, even though I’ve got nothing. “Tommie said she’d recognize the boyfriend if she saw him, right?” When Olivia nods, I surge forward. “So then let’s have her over, see if she recognizes anyone.”

“That’s if this isn’t total bullshit,” Skid says. “Are we really gonna waste club time on some slag from the streets?”

Olivia bristles at the term, shoulders tightening. Her eyes narrow at Skid. “Wanna try that again?”

“You heard me,” he snarls. “Slag.”

She shoves her seat back, his hits the wall as he rises, and I slam him back against the sheetrock.

“Watch your manners,” I growl, my arm pressed against his throat.

He snarls in response.

“That’s enough, Red Dog,” Ravage says, and I release him immediately.

For now.

He lifts a scarred arm, his mottled hand rubbing at his throat, eyeing me with hateful blues.

“I found newspaper articles about it,” Vaughn says from behind his battered laptop. “Her name was Liane Paige.”

Mark shakes his head. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Not for me, either,” Beer Can says.

“How ‘bout you, Skid?” I ask.

“This is bullshit, Prez,” he says to Ravage. “Are we really going off the whims of a little girl and some slag?” He stares straight at Olivia when he says it. I reach for the collar of his shirt, but Ravage yanks me back.

“Enough. Olivia, you’ve got a barbecue to plan.” He bangs the gavel, dismissing us.

No one moves.

“Did I stutter?” His ice blue eyes appraise us.

Vaughn shuts his laptop. “Someone’s cranky,” he mutters as he stands.

“Hold it,” Olivia says.

I know that look on her face. The one that says she knows better, even if just a smidge. The one that says, “Gotcha.” I know that look because it’s almost the same one she gave me that first night.

Almost.

That night, the corners of her mouth curled up just a bit, with just the slightest hint of mischief, her eyelids heavy. Then she broke into someone’s station wagon and pulled me in behind her, losing clothes as we slid into the back.

The look she’s giving Ravage now has none of the lust. Instead there’s that fire in her eyes that I’ve come to love.

And fear.

Just a little.

“Come on in,” she calls through the closed double doors, doors that club legend says came from an actual local church. They’re old and wood and heavy, so they could’ve.

A woman slips inside, the same woman from the other day.

“We don’t allow outsiders,” Mercy says, his voice warm but tinged with warning. Don’t push it, he seems to be telling his daughter. But of course she won’t listen to him. Not with the strain between them. He turns to Skid and Ravage. “She’ll go. No harm—”

“She’s not going anywhere,” Olivia says, clasping Tommie’s hand. “Do you recognize anyone?”

Tommie lowers her sunglasses, staring from face to face. She skips right over Vaughn, does a double take at me.

I clench my fists under the table so no one sees. It’s what I thought. Bastard must’ve been her mother’s boyfriend. That’s why Ravage didn’t want to do this. Once again, he was protecting my father.

Dead since I went away to prison a lifetime ago, yet he’s still calling all the shots.

I’m sick of cleaning up Bastard’s messes. I’m tired of drying little girls’ tears. Tommie’s too old for his tastes but he still ruined her life. He took her mother.

Yet one more thing I’ll never forgive him for.

Tommie lifts a hand, points a finger. I follow its direction, positive I’ll see myself at the other end of it.

Him. He looks just like his father. He’s the one. That’s what she’ll say any second now.

But when I see who she’s pointing at, my chest spasms like the wind’s been knocked out of me.

Judging by the looks on everyone else’s faces, we’re all just as shocked.


Alone in the room we held Church, I lift Olivia onto the table. “That was hot,” I say, kissing her neck. “The way you had Tommie outside, waiting for the right moment.” My lips move against her skin, kissing up to her chin.

She wraps her legs around my waist. “I can’t believe it, though,” she says. “The mom’s boyfriend?”

“Yeah.” I touch my forehead to hers, each of us leaning against the other. We breathe in and out, cells recovering after the shock.

Olivia’s hand slips into mine and pulls my palm to her, up under her shirt. “I just want to forget, for a bit,” she says.

There’s nothing else to say. I close my fingers around her breast, the softness of it light in my hand, giving it just the right pressure she likes. Her hands clasp my face, my beard brushing against her fingers. It’s getting long, longer than I’ve ever let it get. Not counting prison.

Her soft lips push mine open, and I forget those hellish years, forget the last thirty minutes. I hitch her skirt up to her waist, push aside her lacy thong, finding her soaked. She nods, emphatic, unbuckling my belt, freeing me. Her fingers squeeze the base of my cock, rolling over the head, notching me to her. Then I push in, sweetly slow, the hot wetness of her sucking me in an inch at a time. She’s quicksand and I’m drowning in her, buried to the hilt, breathing in her oxygen.

She lies back so I can hit it deep, my head reaching the end of her. When I withdraw, my shaft is coated in her. I run a finger along her leaking lips, soaking the pad of it in creamy desire. I bring my fingers to my lips, but she grabs my wrist, sucking me into her mouth, tasting herself.

I come hard, shooting into her, rolling my hips against her in an attempt to bring her with me.

“Come on me while you fuck me with your fingers,” she says, all doe eyes as she lifts her tiny tank, exposing her belly. I shoot onto her, white pearls dotting her skin even as I thrust two fingers into her, pinching her clit while I fuck her. She matches my pace, grinding hard against me, crying out as she squeezes her eyes shut. I feel her clench around my fingers, her thighs shaking, her body going limp.

I grin, feeling proud of myself as she slumps back onto the table, droplets soaking into the wood.

Ravage would kill us if he knew what we just did, but fuck him.

Olivia’s eyes meet mine, her thoughts seeming to sync with mine. She sighs, and I help her sit up. “What do we do now?” she asks, and I know she’s not talking about the mess on the table.

She’s talking about Tommie, Tommie’s mother Liane, and the mysterious boyfriend—Ravage.


To Be Continued…


Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

“Mother ” | River Reapers MC Miniseries: Part 2

I did a lot of hard things without my mother. It made me stronger in some ways, emptier in others. Lonelier.


Author’s Note

You asked for more Olivia and Cliff, very very nicely, so here it is! This miniseries runs for 12 weeks (and you don’t need to have read the books to follow along). So grab a snack and drink, kick back, and enjoy. 🖤

Catch Up: Part 1


Part 2: “Mother”

Olivia

Not too long ago, I was this woman. Wondering where my mother was, looking to the club for answers. I worked as a bartender under Shannon, Ravage’s wife, and she became a sort of surrogate. My childhood memories were a blur, yet I’d washed up on their doorstep the same way Bree had, so many years before, pregnant with me.

I didn’t like the answers I got then, and I’ve got a feeling Tommie won’t like whatever answers she got now.

“Are the police involved?” I ask, hesitant, wary. I don’t need any more run-ins with the PD. None of us do.

“Define ‘involved,’” she mutters.

I don’t press her. I go to the bar, pour us some coffee. With my mug steaming between my hands, I wait for her to tell her story, in her own time, at her own pace.

“She went missing,” she says finally. “I came home from school one day and no Mom in the kitchen. Chocolate chip cookies on the counter.” She gives me a rueful smile. “She was always baking things.”

Bree never baked. She liked to get baked.

“I called the police,” Tommie continues. “They told me she must’ve just run out to the store for something. But I knew something was wrong. She never left me alone. It was annoying—I was fourteen,” she explains, shaking her head.

Bree left me alone all the time. It never even occurred to me to call the police until a few days passed.

“Anyway, they found her a few weeks later.”

I wish I could stand, smile, send her on her way—case closed, she doesn’t need me. The creases at her eyes tighten, and I know this story is far from over, with no happy ending.

“Gunshot, to the head, execution style,” she says softly. “They found her on the side of Route 8, dumped off the Mixmaster.”

I gasp. I can’t help myself. The Mixmaster is the interchange between Route 8 and I-84, smack in the middle of an urban area. I imagine Tommie’s mother tumbling down from the highway, landing on the riverbank, her body broken.

“You don’t just…” My voice trails off as I catch myself, rearrange my face back into something professional, but it’s too late. Tommie’s already seen my shock.

“The police ruled it as a robbery,” she says, meeting my shocked gaze with a steadiness that holds, then wavers. “I never believed that.”

“I wouldn’t, either,” I say quietly. I shouldn’t have said so, not when my club’s involved somehow and I don’t know the details yet.

Protect the club—that’s the first rule of being a member of the River Reapers MC.

That’s why I need to cut to the chase.

But Tommie lost her mother, making her a victim—a survivor. I can’t push her too quickly, or I’ll lose her. Even worse, I could do irreparable damage.

“Did you bring your concerns to the police?” I ask gently.

She scoffs. “I was fourteen. They weren’t listening. I told them my mother’d been dating this guy—real dangerous dude. She never left me alone with him.”

I swallow, thinking of Bree’s boyfriends over the years, the way they eyed me, waiting for the right moment to pounce. Thankfully she had enough sense to never leave me alone with them.

“Who was he?” I ask. “Was he in the club?”

“I’d know him if I saw him.” She leans forward. “That’s why I’m here.”

“For a lineup?” I can’t see how Ravage will ever okay that. Especially not for an outsider. Especially not a dead one.

“I was hoping I could talk to him. Maybe he knows what really happened,” she says, her gaze intense, feverish.

I wish Shannon hadn’t sent Tommie to me, that she’d gotten the details herself. I don’t have this kind of pull with Ravage—only Shannon does, and usually it’s for one of her girls. Protection, errands, things like that.

“I can’t exactly call Church and start bossing a bunch of bikers around,” I say to Tommie, rising. This is the part where I kick her out, tell her I’m really sorry about her mom, but I can’t help her—we can’t help her.

Except helping people is my job. It’s what I thought I’d do, anyway, working within the system to take care of strays like me. I grew up in a foster home, with parents who never adopted me. They just collected a paycheck and told me they’d adopted me. The system, in all its broken glory, was more than okay with that—it kept the money flowing.

Tommie isn’t a kid, though. She’s a grown woman, sniffing around dangerous places for answers. I should shut her down, send her packing in such a way, she never comes back.

Except who would help her, then? Certainly not the police.

I open my mouth, still not sure what to tell her, when Cliff answers for me.

“Bossing around bikers is what Olivia does best,” he says from over by the bar. He leans against the doorway, giving me a knowing smile.

I start to argue, remind him I’m already on thin ice with Ravage. We both are. Then Tommie engulfs me in a hug scented with leather, perfume, and cigarettes—she even smells like Bree, the rush slamming into me, yanking me back to childhood, the way I’d burrow into my mother’s closet while she was gone, mainlining the remnants she left behind. It comforted me, that stale perfume and old leather, in ways she never could.

I know too well what it’s like growing up without a mother.

So I find myself hugging Tommie in return, a quick pat to the back, pulling away with a smile and promise that I’ll talk to my president, that we will. I grab Cliff’s hand and pull all six-four feet of him to me, warding off another hug from Tommie, keeping away another flashback. He squeezes my hand, his presence alone reassuring as I swap phone numbers with Tommie and promise to text her the moment I have news.

Then she’s gone, the wisps of her scent lingering, my head spinning with memories and feelings. Mostly, the sense of abandonment, of emptiness.

I did a lot of hard things without my mother. It made me stronger in some ways, emptier in others. Lonelier.

“I didn’t mean to interfere,” Cliff says, bringing me back to the here and now.

“Oh.” I wave him off. “It’s okay.”

He pauses, head tilted slightly.

“What?” I ask.

“Well, usually you yell at me for things like this.”

Smiling, I rise onto the tips of my toes and kiss him. “I figure Ravage’ll do enough of that for the both of us.”

“Ravage?” he repeats.

I nod. “Since it was your idea, you can tell our president to call Church.”

Tipping his head back, he groans.

“Better catch him while he’s still in a good mood.” I shoulder my bag and kiss him goodbye. “I’ve got a cookout to plan.”

Then I make myself scarce before I get roped into anything else.


To Be Continued…


Photo by JP Valery on Unsplash

“Echoes from the Past” | River Reapers MC Miniseries: Part 1

She even reminds me of Bree, with the smoker’s pulls around her mouth and that haunted survivor look in her eyes, the one we all seem to share—and recognize immediately.


Note from the Author

You asked for more Olivia and Cliff, very very nicely, so here it is! This miniseries runs for 12 weeks (and you don’t need to have read the books to follow along). So grab a snack and drink, kick back, and enjoy. 🖤


Olivia

History repeats. That’s all I can think as I sit across from Ravage and he tells me it’s my “duty” to throw the club’s big Fourth of July party. I give him a skeptical look through slitted eyes because I’m pretty sure he’s messing with me. He made me throw the club’s big Halloween party, and we all know how that ended.

Okay, it actually turned out great, but that’s not the point.

“I’m not a prospect anymore,” I remind him. “I’m not even your bartender anymore. Can’t you foist this on someone else?”

“We don’t have any prospects right now,” he reminds me in his gravelly voice, “and you’re the lowest man on the totem pole, so to speak,” he adds.

I groan. “I’m a full-time social worker. I don’t have time to organize something this big.”

The River Reapers MC cookout for the Fourth of July is the party of the year. Bikers from other clubs come out in droves. A couple hundred people crowd Ravage and Shannon’s backyard. It’s not no little Halloween haunted house that goes up for an evening. It’s an all-day affair that carries late into the night, often the next morning and day.

“You did great. You can handle this.”

His father-knows-best attitude drives me crazy—and it’s why I love him so much. He’s been looking out for me my whole life, even when I didn’t know I had a guardian angel in the form of a grizzled biker. I’d do anything for him because he’s done everything for me. He’s been a father to me while my biological father cowers and my real dad was in prison.

That’s the only reason I don’t slouch out of his office like a teenager who’s been told to go clean their room.

“And Olivia?” he calls as I reach the hall.

“Yes?” I’m almost afraid to ask.

“The hotdogs. They have to be Deutschmacher—”

“I know, I know. I’ll get you your ‘douchey’ hotdogs,” I tease, purposely mispronouncing the only brand he’ll eat. The man is a picky toddler.

“Thank you,” he says, and the hint of a smile plays on his lips. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him smile, not in a happy way, so I hightail it out of there before those icy blue eyes pierce me.

I don’t make it far before I run into the other man who’s done everything for me.

“There you are.” Cliff bends down to kiss me, his beard grazing my cheek, his hands brushing my hips as he pulls me into an embrace. “I heard the boss wanted to see you. Everything cool?”

I chuckle darkly. “Define ‘cool.’ He’s making me plan the Fourth bash.”

“Damn. What’d you do to deserve that?” he jokes.

“Apparently too good a job on the Halloween thing.” Shrugging, I loop my arms around his neck and lean into him. “Maybe you can help me de-stress a little…” I say it suggestively, let it hang between us. I’ve been trying—and failing—to keep it casual between us. We’ve been everything but, not with the things we’ve done together.

Things most couples never dream think of—like disposing of rapists.

“I’d love to,” he says, with that tender emphasis he keeps putting on the L-word.

I know how he feels. It’s obvious. What isn’t so obvious is how I feel, and how to keep my heart safe after everything I’ve been through.

“There’s someone else who wants to see you, though,” he continues.

“Who?”

He leads me out of The Wet Mermaid’s employees-only area and onto the strip club and bar’s main floor. At this time of morning, it should be empty—a couple stragglers from last night’s drinking, if anything. But a small figure in a too-big hoodie sits huddled at a table.

At first I think they must be a kid—a teenager, maybe. As I approach, she lifts her head and the hood falls away. I see crow’s feet at the corners of her eyes and I put her in her forties, just a few years older than my mother.

She even reminds me of Bree, with the smoker’s pulls around her mouth, the perpetual terrors life’s rained down on her displayed for all to see by the elevens on her brow. She’s got that haunted survivor look in her eyes, the one we all seem to share—and recognize immediately.

It gives “it takes one to know one” a whole new meaning.

“What is this?” I whisper to Cliff as we draw closer.

She stands. “Shannon told me I could… She said to ask for Olivia.”

I throw on my social worker face, the one that says “I’ve seen everything and I’m listening.” Except I’m pretty sure most social workers haven’t seen half the shit I have.

I drop into the chair opposite her and motion for her to sit, too. Cliff makes himself scarce, probably sensing she’s nervous to talk in front of a man. He’s empathetic like that.

“What’s your name?” I ask her.

“Tommie,” she says. Chipped and clipped fingernails shred a napkin. “Shannon said maybe you could help…”

I’m gaining quite the reputation. If it keeps going this way, I’ll have to set up a hotline or something, the way Shannon’s Haven has a private number that rape and domestic violence victims can use to contact her shelter.

That is, anyway, if Ravage doesn’t take me to the river for all the trouble I keep bringing to his front door.

This one isn’t my fault, though—I can honestly say that. I start to tell her that she’s got the wrong place, that I can’t bring another body to the club, that I’m so sorry for what happened to her, but I can’t afford to be involved with another murder. Then she says something really interesting, something that makes me shut up and listen.

“My mother went missing in the nineties, and I think your club had something to do with it.”

Like I said, history repeats.


To Be Continued…


Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

River Reapers MC Halloween Special: Part II

We’re seen as bad and dirty because we prefer another way of life. We live for freedom and family, and not the cultish, biblical, nationalist bullshit so many people spout. It’s about the freedom of the road in front of you and the one at your back. It’s about the freedom to ride as a woman alongside men, as equals. They don’t like that I’m not a possession. They don’t like that I wear what I want and fuck who I want, just like my brothers do.

While you wait for the next book in the River Reapers MC series, here’s a special treat. This spooky short story can be read as a standalone whether you’re new to the MC or a longtime member (trigger- and spoiler-free)!

Part II

Cliff

I’ve got one hour to get rid of a rat and get into costume, and my bike won’t start.

It’s my fault. I put it off too long. It’s just that this rat is my brother, someone like family even though I barely know him; being away for so long stripped me of that privilege. If we let him live, he’ll just cause more problems. It’d be stupid to let him hang around. One rat could bring down our entire club.

I’m not going anywhere if I can’t get my bike started, though. And if I’m late to this party, nothing will make it up to Olivia. She’s stressed the fuck out, scared that she’ll fail Shannon and Ravage. My job is to wear the dumb costume and host by her side, pretending we’re the cool couple who opens up our home to a town that doesn’t trust us on a good day. Shannon’s Haven is one of the positive things our club does that people actually see, and it’s what keeps the town from driving us out. It’s what keeps the police from raiding us. Because of all the people Shannon saves, we’re untouchable.

Another motorcycle pulls into the gas station, and I exhale in relief when I recognize the rider.

“You good, brother?” Donny calls out as he swings off his bike.

“Won’t start.” I throw up my hands. “Battery’s good and I just filled the fucking tank. I’m late,” I add.

“You take care of Ravage’s rat problem?” he asks, inspecting the bike.

“Not yet.”

“Better get on that.” He flips the kill switch back to off. “There ya go. Must’ve bumped it.”

I whistle. “I’m a fucking wreck.”

“If this is you on Halloween, I gotta see what you’ll be like on your wedding day.”

I look away. “It’ll never happen, brother.”

“Oh, I got a good feeling it will.” He claps me on the shoulder. “As long as you take care of that rat.”

“Why’s it gotta be me?” I ask him. “That’s usually your department.”

He chuckles. “Not in this case. That fucker’s chewed through everything in the dry storage, and he’s evaded all my traps.” His dark eyes meet mine. “Mercy said he heard you made friends with the rats in Lewisburg seg.” He holds a straight face for a moment, then busts out laughing.

“Fuck you,” I say, but I laugh too, only for a second. “It just seems cruel, to kill a guy who’s just trying to eat.”

“That guy bites one of the kids tonight, you’ll be singing a different tune.”

“My buddy doesn’t bite. I’ve hand-fed him cheese, for fuck’s sake.”

“That’s exactly why you gotta be the one to take him out. Fucker don’t trust no one else.” He pats me on the back again. “Clock’s ticking.” Turning, he goes into the gas station.

I ride over to the Mermaid and slip in among the chaos of a dozen club girls setting up. From somewhere I hear Pru delegating Olivia’s orders, and I grin with pride. Despite what Olivia thinks, my girl is running this; Shannon will be more than proud when she and Ravage walk in tonight, fresh from their mini getaway.

I close myself in the storage room, flipping on the light and standing still. A few seconds of silence pass, then I hear the telltale squeaking. A fat rat streaks out from the shadows, standing on his hind legs, nose sniffing the air.

This rat does not have any disease. He’s the cutest, friendliest little dude I’ve ever met. Maybe that makes me dirty and weird, the guy who makes friends with the lowest of the low. But it wasn’t that long ago that guys like him and me were equals, scraping by with whatever crumbs we could find, hiding in the shadows and biding our time. If I could, I’d take him home with me, but I’m pretty sure my landlord wouldn’t see him as a pet.

“Hey, buddy.” I hold out a hunk of cheese in my hand and, like usual, he comes right up to me. While he nibbles away, I scoop him into a rescue box and secure him. He scrabbles around inside, his squeaks accusing. “I know it, man.”

Swinging open the door, I pass him to the wildlife removal agent that I had meet me here. He’s a friend of Mark’s, so this’ll never get back to OSHA.

“I’m so sorry,” I tell the rat.

“Oh, don’t worry,” the agent tells me. “We relocate all our catches, unless there’s a reason not to.”

He carries the box to his van and I wish the little guy good luck. Then I go change, before I’m really late.

Olivia

I stand in the guest bedroom, staring into the framed mirror leaning against the wall. Even this spare room has Shannon all over it, cozy and dreamy with just the right touch of gloom. I’m so out of place in this costume.

I should’ve added this to the list. I don’t know what Lucy was thinking, giving us these relics from her years with her baby daddy. She probably thought it was hilarious, and normally I would, too, but tonight’s not the night. We’re trying to show the town we are the good guys, even if our methods are a little—okay, a lot—questionable. This just feels like we’re rubbing it all in everyone’s faces.

The whole town knows what Cliff did. It’s why our business slowed when he got out—and our clientele is always down for a drink and lap dance. It’s why people give us dirty looks when they see us in public. The benefit rides we do every month help, but only so much. That’s why the Halloween bash is so important. It’s a yearly way for us to change how the town sees us. They can’t hate the club that shelters half the town’s women when their own men drink too much.

People hate us because we’re up front about who we are; all of us have committed crimes. The only difference is, none of our men have ever beaten a woman. The only woman we’ve ever touched was Esther’s mother, and she had it coming. We’re seen as bad and dirty because we prefer another way of life. We live for freedom and family, and not the cultish, biblical, nationalist bullshit so many people spout. It’s about the freedom of the road in front of you and the one at your back. It’s about the freedom to ride as a woman alongside men, as equals. They don’t like that I’m not a possession. They don’t like that I wear what I want and fuck who I want, just like my brothers do.

And they definitely don’t like what Cliff did to his own father.

They didn’t like what Bastard was doing to Lucy, either, but every one of them looked the other way.

Taking a deep breath, I smooth my sexy police uniform. At least the handcuffs will be fun, later—if Cliff actually shows up.

He’s vowed never to wear orange again, and I’d hope that means not even for me—on Halloween or any other circumstances. He’ll probably just come in his standard hoodie and T-shirt, proudly wearing his cut over all of it. Even though I don’t blame him, I’m a little bummed that we won’t be in matching costumes. I know it’s one of those dumb, sickeningly cute things that dumb, sickeningly stupid people do, but just for once I want to be those people so deliriously in love, they dress up together. We have so few normal things. I’ll never admit it out loud, but I secretly enjoy when we do them.

“Let it go,” I tell myself. “It ain’t happening.”

I slip on my thigh-high boots just as the doorbell rings. I hear Esther open the front door below, letting in the first wave of ticket holders. Their gasps of delight at the fog machine and spooky music drift up to me, and I smile. If nothing else, I did a damn good job of arranging all of Ravage’s Halloween decorations. It’s not what it usually looks like, but that’s because I’m not Shannon. I’m me.

And I did it my way.

Joining everyone downstairs, I realize I am a little worried Cliff didn’t show. It’s not like him, and the last time he disappeared, I let Stixx set a building on fire when we found him. I get a little crazy when my baby’s in trouble. He, on the other hand, becomes totally unhinged if anyone even breathes wrong in my direction. I’ve seen him go from sweet and sensitive to protectively violent in zero seconds flat. I’ve never seen him blow me off. Even when we were broken up, he showed up for me.

I’m torn between concern and scorn when the door opens and he steps inside, his face blank while I take in what he’s wearing. He’s dressed in an orange jumpsuit, with “inmate” stamped across his back. With his long black hair down and the scar on his face, I can see the angry, lonely man he must’ve been when he was inside. He had every right to be. It destroys me a little every time I think about him ever being unloved and secluded, this sweet man who’s helped me shower when I was too shellshocked to move, and cuddles our tiny niece while singing to her—after changing her diaper, and no one even asked.

I’m supposed to say something, to lighten the moment somehow, but I’m struck speechless by how much it must’ve taken him to put on his “costume.” Even if he doesn’t talk about it, I know that being in prison for two decades did a number on him. He pretends he’s okay just so that Lucy, I, and everyone else don’t worry about him. I also know when he doesn’t sleep at night because he’s dreaming of Lewisburg again.

So I don’t crack a joke. I just close the distance between us, throw my arms around his neck, and pour everything I’m feeling into the kiss I breathe into his lips. “Thank you,” I whisper in his ear. “You didn’t have to do this.”

His palms cup my ass. “You have handcuffs,” he says with a grin, appreciating my sexy cop costume. “I definitely had to do this.”

“Get a room,” Esther says with a wink. A second later, Donny grabs her ass, and it looks like a pair of Converses are making out, because each of them is wearing a giant shoe.

The girls—vampire Cierra, witchy Abril, and the cutest ghost ever, Ximena—pretend to be disgusted, but they wear matching smiles. It’s so good to see them happy.

Lucy and Stixx shuffle in, with Bunny in the costume I ordered her months ago. I told them they had to match her, and holy shit, they actually did it. She’s wearing tiny boxing gloves and a matching red headband and shorts, with a white onesie. A spot of red still stains one of her legs. Stixx is dressed as her coach, and Lucy is a ring girl.

“I didn’t think you’d actually go for it!” I laugh. “I fucking love you guys.”

No one else in our club is sharing a theme. Beer Can is a dwarf from Lord of the Rings. Mark has a pair of vampire fangs in one of his pockets. Skid is dressed as one of the Men in Black. Vaughn and Cami came separately, but they’re both Boba Fett. Abraham must’ve lost a bet with Vaughn, because he’s wearing a rainbow tutu and a scowl.

Bree and Mercy come late, but their cheeks are flushed and she’s wearing the same witch costume she’s been rocking since I was a kid. Occasionally he steals her hat and pretends he’s her wizard.

Dozens of people come through the house, and between the ticket sales and baskets raffle, I’m pretty sure we’ve made at least what Shannon pulls in every year. I sneak into the kitchen for a celebratory drink, finally feeling like I can let loose.

The back door opens and Shannon steps inside. “Honey, we’re home.” She engulfs me in a hug, her witch costume almost identical to my mom’s.

They’re so similar, yet one stayed and the other left. “Thank you for doing this.”

“Any time. Did you have fun?”

“Yes,” she says, her eyes misting a little. “It was good to spend some time together. I missed him, crazy as that sounds.”

“I know what you mean,” I say, peering through the passthrough at all of my family together.

Ravage steps in through the back door, and I hug him hello. His face is painted as a skull.

“Seriously?” I tease. “How’s this any different from every other day? You did a good job, though.”

“You did good, kid,” he says, one arm still around me. “I knew everything would be safe in your hands. Both of your hands,” he adds as Cliff ducks into the kitchen.

Ravage steps away and Cliff’s arms take his place. It’s almost as if I’ve been passed from father to groom. Ravage and Shannon stand arm in arm, smiling over at us. A dreadful sort of deja vu locks my limbs for a moment, and then the Halloween playlist changes tracks and the ghoulish laughter grounds me in the moment. I have the whole night to look forward to, hours in Cliff’s arms, surrounded by the kids’ laughter and the wash of voices as everyone talks at once. I lean back into him, content.

I ignore the way everyone is looking back at me, because if I look too closely, I’d realize none of this is real.

The End

More books in the River Reapers MC are coming…

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Catch Up

Book 1 | Book 2 | Novella | Book 3

River Reapers MC Halloween Special: Part I

While you wait for the next book in the River Reapers MC series, here’s a special treat. This spooky short story can be read as a standalone whether you’re new to the MC or a longtime member (trigger- and spoiler-free)!

Before You Read…

Guess everyone’s costumes! Just save the image, then draw to match each character to a costume. Then tag me on Instagram with your guesses!

Part I

Olivia

“We’re throwing a Halloween party, and Olivia’s organizing,” Ravage, the President of the River Reapers MC says, casting me the quickest of glances. “We’ve also got a bit of a rat problem—”

“Back up a sec.” He’s not getting off that easy. It’s bad enough I have to clean up after their drunk asses as their bartender. It’s bad enough they pranked the shit out of me as their Prospect. These pains in my ass want me to plan their Halloween bash? The one that requires tickets, because so many people come, from all over?

“It’s not a big deal.” Ravage leans back in his chair at the head of the table, stretching lazily like he didn’t just hand me his baby.

This is the party. He and Shannon host a haunted house at their place every year, with music, food, and booze back at The Wet Mermaid, the MC’s strip club. It goes well into two in the morning, sometimes later, depending on how the police department feels about us at the time. All the proceeds from the ticket sales and raffles go to Shannon’s Haven, a shelter for survivors of rape and domestic violence. This is the fundraiser that sponsors everything Shannon does for another year. And Ravage is just giving it to me?

I’m one of Shannon’s strays, in a way. I washed up here every time my mother Bree disappeared, because before DCF got their hands on me, I belonged to the club. They were my family. Because of Ravage’s record, they weren’t allowed to foster or adopt me, so I was ripped from their leather-clad arms and placed with even worse people. As soon as I turned eighteen, I came back to the Mermaid for a job, and I’ve been family again ever since.

Now I’m one of the River Reapers, for real. Me—the little girl without a family. Now I’ve got more family than I can handle. Just like a standard suburban family, they drive me crazy.

I’d do anything for them, anyway.

“Is this one of those things where you surprise me with a little responsibility now because later you’re gonna drop the whole thing in my lap?” I slide a smirk over to Cliff. He knows exactly what I’m talking about, even if neither of us knows exactly where our complicated relationship stands.

“Sure seems like it,” Cliff agrees.

That’s just how Ravage rolls. He has his secret, all-knowing, father-knows-best agenda, and nine times out of ten, the fucker’s right. That’s what makes it infuriating. He knows what the ten of us sitting with him at this table are capable of before we even do. I always think he’s insane, and he always proves me wrong. Like the time he taught seven-year-old me how to shoot a gun. Way fucked up, but it saved my life later.

I know he loves me like I was his own daughter, but sometimes it’s so creepy, the way he just knows things. I bet the fucker even knows when he’s gonna die, and everything he’s doing is just to prepare us for that day.

Which is why I narrow my eyes at him.

“You love Halloween, and there’s no way Shannon just agreed to put all of her funding in my hands.”

“Actually, it was her idea.” His ice blue eyes are firm. “She wants to go away for a few days, and I want you to run everything so smoothly, she doesn’t feel guilty.”

In that case, I can do this. Shannon’s been like a mother to me over the years, in ways I never even realized. The least I can do is take over so she can take a break.

“Then I only have one question,” I say, lifting my chin.

“Yeah?”

“Can we still do the haunted house at your place?”

Cliff

I stretch fake spider webbing across the front bushes, my memories as real as the October chill in the air. Growing up, I wasn’t allowed around the club. My mother made sure that I was kept in the dark. Halloween was the only exception, and that was only because Bastard took me to the haunted house and straight back home. I gotta give Ruth props, because I had no fucking clue my old man was the President of a biker club. He came home for dinner every night just like all my friends’ dads. Until I found Ruth in the tub, I had no idea we weren’t like every other family.

A lot of the time, I’m angry. I try to hide it, but it comes out anyway. I’m Frankenstein, a big dumb brute barely holding it together.

I stick the little plastic spiders into place, envisioning the yard lit up by strobe lights like it used to be. This is the house that goes overboard every year, the house everyone wants to see. Shannon’s decor is already dreamy boho goth, so all it needs on the inside is a few fake spiderwebs and some mood music. Halloween is when it’s cool to show off the animal skulls she collects.

Olivia pokes her head out the front door. “You almost done with that? I’ve got another job for you.”

“All done.”

She steps onto the porch and I join her, wrapping an arm around her to keep away the chill. For a brief moment, her warmth seeps into me, and I close my eyes. Peace is so fleeting for us. Even before we met, our lives were a mess of chaos and hurt. She’s the home I’ve been aching for, but she has yet to invite me in. Not all the way, anyway. After all she’s been through, she guards her heart, and I can’t blame her. It’s my job to prove to her that she can trust me, time after time.

“What do you need?” I kiss the top of her head, breathing her in. Just her nearness sets my senses on fire, my hands longing to touch her.

But she pulls away, stopping me with a serious face. “I need you to get our costumes.”

I blink. “Costumes?”

“We’re the hosts. We have to dress up.”

“I’d rather get us undressed.” I settle my hands on her hips, drawing her back in.

“Yeah well, no one’s getting any ’til I’ve outdone every party Ravage and Shannon have ever thrown.”

“Tall order.” I stroke her cheek. “You’re doing great, you know.”

“I’ll do even better if you get us some cool matching costumes.”

I chuckle. “The day before Halloween? No problem.”

“That’s the spirit.” She unties her nest of curls and shakes them out, wafting the warm, slightly spicy scent of her shampoo my way.

“Anything I should avoid?”

She drops her hair, smirking. “Hmm. No bikers.”

I laugh. “Can’t make it easy for me, huh?”

“No photographers.”

“Is that even a costume?”

“Definitely no rockstars.”

I sober. She’s listing all the real-life monsters we’ve buried. “Probably no football players, then.”

“Definitely not. I’ll wear anything else. I’ll even go as a half-naked maid.”

“You promise?” I’m not usually a fantasy guy, but the thought of Olivia half naked in any form gets me instantly hard.

She gives my ass a swat. “Only if you go get those costumes.”

“I’m on it.”

Before I go, I pull her in for a kiss. I don’t give a fuck how much a hurry she’s in. Every moment could be our last. Too many people want us dead. There’s always time for kisses.

“Be safe,” she murmurs just as our lips touch. I nuzzle across hers, savoring the slow sweet burn. Darting my tongue against her lower lip, I tease her open. The inside of her mouth is hot and sweet, and the glide of our tongues is too quick. I capture her face in my hands for just a moment longer, feel her body slow and melt into me, tell her I love her with my tongue instead of the words she won’t let me speak.

Then, just as she surrenders, I break away with a wink.

“No one’s getting lucky ’til I get costumes,” I remind her. Her eyes flash, her face so comically disappointed, I chuckle. I kiss her hand, then hop off the porch. Just before I turn the engine of my motorcycle, I hear her mutter a single word.

“Gremlin.”


Every single store is sold out of costumes. I knew it’d be slim pickings, but they’re all cleaned out. There’s no time to order anything, either, so I’m screwed. I might as well not even go back to the house, not empty-handed.

There’s only one person who might be able to help me with this. Before I can call her, my phone buzzes with an incoming text.

<< Ravage: Don’t forget to take care of our rat problem. >>

Fuck. I tip my head back. I didn’t forget—no way I could. I just wish I didn’t have to be the one to handle it.

<< Ravage: I mean it. There’s a rat in the clubhouse and I’m counting on you to get rid of him, son. This could earn you a new patch. >>

This is exactly “one of those things” Olivia was talking about in Church. Sometimes Ravage drops little jobs on us, all while making this face like he knows something the rest of us don’t. He’s never had me do anything like this, though.

But he left this to me, right after putting Olivia on party duty, and if I want to stay in this club, I better make it happen. It’ll never leave the table. It won’t violate my parole. It shouldn’t bother me. But it’s brutal and cold, and despite the time I did in max, it’s not my style.

<< Ravage: Take care of it before the party tomorrow night. >>

Every kill is a stain on my soul, a soul I wasn’t even sure I possessed until I met Olivia. When I stood outside that motel and she offered me a cigarette, she lit up the parts of me that were dark for two decades, maybe longer. I want to give her a good, clean life, but there’s no such thing in this life we lead.

If nothing else, I can at least give her a costume.

I call my cousin Lucy. I’m ten years older than her but she’s the one always saving my ass. She picks up right away.

“You must be psychic,” she says, breathless.

My pitch for last-minute help dies on my lips. “Huh?”

“I need you to get over here, right now.”

I don’t think. I don’t ask questions. I just go.

Olivia

I fall back onto Shannon’s chaise lounge, enveloped by the emerald velvet and pile of throw pillows. The house is decorated, her cats are fed, and everything at Shannon’s Haven is running right on schedule. Tomorrow there’ll be late-afternoon trick-or-treating for the kids, then the haunted house will kick off the party over at the Mermaid.

Esther tosses the last goody bag into the box and stretches out on the floor. “You did it, girl.”

“Thanks to you.” No way I could’ve put together two dozen goody bags and care packages, while decorating and making sure the menu’s all set. Not by myself. I’m never alone, though, not with Esther. She comes with an army of little sisters eager to help, because even teenagers love free candy.

“Any time. I’m really excited about this party. I always heard about it, but thought it’d be all bad stuff, like drugs and violence.”

“That’s the afterparty,” I say, kidding. Biker family parties are just like any other family gathering. There’s booze and weed, of course, but no one would even think of lighting up in front of the little ones. The liquor is kept out of reach and the party stays family-friendly ’til the babies are all in bed.

I missed a lot of Halloweens after I went into the system, but I remember slow dancing on a slightly drunk Beer Can’s feet, eating plates of food made by Mark’s flavor of the week, and going home with my own care package for Bree. In each box, there’s a new set of clothes for each mother and child, plus all the fixings for a spaghetti night, and some necessities like deodorant and toothpaste. This year, I had Esther add one more thing: a fall wreath made by her little sisters. Bree and I never had decorations. I figure the wreaths will brighten up everyone’s doors, even if only a little.

Esther’s fourteen-year-old sister, Cierra, unplugs the hot glue gun she’s been in charge of for the past few hours. “Can we go to the movies now?”

“You good here?” Esther asks me.

I nod, too tired to speak.

“All right, we’re out, then.” She collects Cierra, Abril, and little Ximena, and then the house is silent.

The quiet hits me hard. Somewhere, a grandfather clock ticks, but other than that, there isn’t a sound. With Esther and the girls gone and nothing left to do, I’m trapped by all of my insecurities. Esther says Shannon would be proud, but I can’t help but feel like I’ll never measure up. Shannon gives without even a second thought. She makes so many lives better, never once complaining. I don’t know how she does it without collapsing. If anyone deserves a to get away, it’s her. I picture her and Ravage strolling down the Maine beach, and smile.

My smile drops when I think of the way Ravage looked at me. He had that gleam in his eye, that calculating one that tells me someday I’ll be running Shannon’s Haven, whether I think I’ve got it in me or not. His faith in me scares me more than anything else, because I can’t bear the thought of letting down the two people who’ve looked out for me my whole life every time Bree couldn’t. Shannon gave me a job as a bartender when I wasn’t even old enough to drink or confident enough to hold a man’s stare. She taught me how to be boldly me, just by showing me how to mix drinks I’d never heard of and banter with customers I’d never met.

Ravage is always saying things like “This club is your birthright,” because Cliff and I are second generation; we were supposed to be River Reapers but then we got taken away by two sides of the same system. I owe Ravage and Shannon everything, but I’ve always had my own plans, and I don’t know how those fit into who they want me to be.

After coming up in the system, I swore I’d become the kind of social worker I needed as a kid. I can’t take care of my clients and run Shannon’s Haven at the same time. If that’s truly what Ravage wants, I’ll let someone down no matter which way I go.

I’m good at my job, even if I break the rules at times; I’m good at my job because I’m willing to bend them. The one time I asked for help, my social worker was too busy to do even the bare minimum for me. The system needs people like me, foster kid alumni who wanna be the change or whatever. No one else cares enough.

But no one else cares enough about rape and domestic violence survivors, either. It’s the broken people who save other broken people. The problem is, I can’t save everyone, no matter how hard I try.

“It’s me,” Cliff calls as he steps inside.

I sit up, letting my worries fall away for a moment. Just hearing his voice eases the tension in me. Cliff is a constant reminder that I am enough. I know he loves me, even if it terrifies me to hear him say it. Hopefully he knows how I feel about him.

He bends to kiss me hello, and I rise onto my knees, stretching out the kiss. When he breaks away, I sigh happily.

“Did you get the costumes?” I ask, peeking at the big paper bag he holds in one hand.

It’s then that I notice the blood staining his hands and face.

“What happened?” I ask, standing.

In our world, there’s always blood. Every life we save is paid for with another life. Each monster we remove deserved it, but the lines in Cliff’s face tell the story of the toll it takes. It weighs heavier on his soul than it does mine. Looking at the stains on his skin, I know exactly why they called him Red Dog in prison. He’s a terrifying sight with his towering frame, broad shoulders, and dark hair, blood dried into his beard and under his fingernails. His name might be Clifford, and he might be a gentle giant with me, but he’s no docile puppy.

He glances down at his hands. “It’s not real,” he says quickly. “Lucy was doing this Halloween photo shoot with Bunny and it got out of hand.”

I sag back into the chaise, relieved. There’ll be no bodies to bury tonight. He sits beside me, pulling up a video. I watch my adoptive sister scrub her baby, covered in fake blood, in the sink. “I swear I didn’t mean to Carrie prom my baby,” she says in the video, and I snort softly.

“Lucy and Pinterest fail, in the same sentence? My eyes must be lying.” I fight another wave of yawns. “Please tell me you got costumes,” I murmur.

“I did,” he says, “but you’re not gonna like them.”

Cracking an eye open, I take in what he’s holding up. He’s right.

To be continued…

Read Part II

Catch Up on the River Reapers MC Series

Book 1 | Book 2 | Novella | Book 3